Dima descends into a spore-infested Seattle subway carrying an MC5786 computer he found in an abandoned office building, intending to skip the exposed surface route south. Deep in the tunnels he finds Catalina, a WLF soldier stranded alone for six hours after a clearing mission went wrong and reinforcement never came. She is too exhausted to raise her rifle. He sits down beside her and then they escape through a vent system together, and she brings him to a nearby furniture store where she keeps watch while he sleeps.
Chapter Two, The Furniture Store, Early Morning
They go inside due to rain and start assembling the computer immediately. Working from a damaged manual, Catalina reading the sections while Dima slots the components, they bring the MC5786 to life. It boots.
Chapter Three, SoDo, Afternoon
They move south through the flooded SoDo district, navigating collapsed overpasses and half-submerged streets in the first hours of open travel after the tunnels.
Chapter Four, SoDo to the Bridge, Morning
They cross the last WLF-held corridors toward the bridge south of Seattle, quiet and careful, the city thinning around them with each block.
Chapter Five, South of the Bridge, Morning
On the south bank, sitting against a concrete wall with the same mud on both their hands, something shifts. Catalina cries and Dima holds her, the logic of self-sufficiency quietly failing. He offers her the cordyceps vaccine he had carried for a stranger he had not yet met, injecting the first 0.5ml dose into her outer calf at the roadside and explaining the two-week window before the second dose.
Chapter Six, South of the Bridge, Evening
While Dima sleeps, Catalina sits with the MC5786 across her knees and uses it alone for the first time, creating a personal journal file and writing in it slowly in the failing light.
Chapter Seven, South of the Bridge, Morning
Before Dima wakes, Catalina reads the formal logic book on her own terms, working through the four figures without instruction and beginning to understand what the language is actually for.
Chapter Eight, The Margins of Seattle, Afternoon
The city finally behind them, Catalina asks Dima what he was truly looking for when he left Sidliste. Not the machine and not the southern communities. He answers honestly.
Chapter Nine, The Outskirts of Seattle, Afternoon
They find an abandoned building with a line printer still wired to the wall and connect it to the MC5786. Catalina's journal prints onto continuous feed paper in sharp ink strokes. Shortly after, a capacitor on the board fails from accumulated humidity damage, sending the machine into safe mode with a faint pop. They close the casing and carry on.
Chapter Ten, Road South, Afternoon
The hills ahead drawing closer, they find a geothermal lake in a forest hollow and wade in with their clothes on, washing both themselves and their gear. A water fight breaks out and Catalina laughs openly for the first time. Another capacitor fails that afternoon from the jostling of the pack. They count what sessions remain and agree to spend each one carefully.
Chapter Eleven, Forest Lodging, Evening
Several days after the lake, a forest trail opens onto a clearing with a wooden lodging, the roof intact and dry wood still stacked beside a working fireplace. That evening by the fire Catalina asks what they are each most ashamed of, then answers first: Petra, a young soldier she watched struggle and said nothing about because she told herself it was not her place. Dima removes a piece of fluff from her hair. They arrange a watch rotation and she lies down with her rifle beside her.
Chapter Twelve, Village Electronics Store, Afternoon
Three days south of the lodging, a trail rejoins a road running through a small village. At its eastern end stands a Meridian Computing and Electronics store, its glass still intact. On the display wall inside, a Centrino laptop still in its original position and a set of sealed CDs. They take both.
Chapter Thirteen, Road South, Afternoon
On the road, Dima shows Catalina how the touchpad works. They find a low wall at the roadside and sit with the Centrino between them, discovering Full Tilt Pinball and playing for nearly forty minutes until the battery drops to forty-three percent.
Chapter Fourteen, Road South, Dusk
Walking south as the afternoon fades, Catalina goes quiet. The part of her that still thinks like a soldier pulls her back before she can stop it, and the silence stretches until it becomes difficult. An hour later they take a room at a roadside motel. She apologizes and he extends his arm, then she leans into him and tells him about that silence, the instinct to pull back before something good can go wrong. She removes the WLF badge from her jacket and sets it on the floor. They talk through the evening about Yusuf and safety and what six years of loneliness actually felt like from the inside. When the music from the second CD starts to end, she lies down with her rifle beside her and tells him the watch rotation.
Chapter Fifteen
The Motel, Night
Scene
The room has gone quiet. On the far wall, mounted on a shaft in front of the bed, a dark VHS tape reader sits dormant. Below it, a low shelf holds two rows of tapes: the upper row labeled "DIGITIZED" in faded marker, the lower row bare or nearly so. One at the far left has a strip of adhesive paper on its spine with three lines of faded label-maker type.
Catalina
opens her eyes at the first sound of the tape mechanism loading, immediately still, her hand moving to the rifle beside her, scanning the room What are you doing?
Dima
I have found a tape about the infection, and if you haven't noticed, there is a tape reader in front of the bed, and so, I have gone to watch TV about the infection.
Catalina
sits up, sees the tape reader glowing faintly, then looks at him Going to watch TV. her voice is flat but she is already looking at the label on the machine, reading it from the bed What does it say on the tape?
Dima
It said "Cordy", "Study IV-B". I think it's going to be pretty interesting.
Scene
The degraded tape starts to roll.
TitleCordyceps Brain Infection - Longitudinal Study IV-B
SourceCollective Institute of Applied Mycology, East Seattle Campus
Period2050-2055
StatusRestricted
ConditionSevere degradation / Channel A partial / Channel B lost
███▓▓▒▒ [TRACKING..] ▒▒▓▓███████████████████████████████████████
[STATIC - 6s]
████████████████████████████████████DR. YUEN, P. - CHIEF RESEARCHER[audio partially recovered]"...this study represents the most comprehensive longitudinal examination of Cordyceps brain infection conducted since the establishment of the Collective's mycological division. What follows is a summary of findings accrued over a five-year period, drawing on [INAUDIBLE - 3s] specimens, field samples, and prior archived research including materials recovered from Jakarta, [STATIC] and the University of [TRACKING ERROR]......we will address, in sequence: revised outbreak chronology, stage-by-stage executive function analysis, network receptor behavior, reproduction and cellular replication mechanisms, population stabilization data, and current progress on prophylactic treatment..."██████████████████████████████████
[TAPE DAMAGE - approx. 40s lost]
██████████████████████████████████[SECTION I - OUTBREAK CHRONOLOGY][image: degraded map, South America and Southeast Asia visible]"The prevailing consensus held, until approximately [INAUDIBLE], that the first outbreak occurred in 2013, propagating outward from South America.However, revised analysis of preserved grain samples and archived epidemiological data from Indonesian agricultural records now places the first confirmed infection event in 2001, in the Java and Sulawesi island groups, Indonesia.[image: microscopy slide, hyphae visible as pale filaments inside a grain cross-section]These hyphae are effectively invisible or extremely tiny to standard visual inspection. The fungal mass does not fruit unless transferred to a warm-blooded host.The world did not notice in 2001 as global grain trade continued uninterrupted. Infected grain shipments moved through [TRACKING ERROR - 4s] Rotterdam, Pusan, Los Angeles, [STATIC] Buenos Aires. By 2007 the infection was present on every inhabited continent.The infected population had grown slowly before it became impossible to ignore in 2013."███████████████████████████████
[TAPE DAMAGE - approx. 20s lost]
███████████████████████████████[image: a single printed page, held up to camera]"This page is from a 1970 paper published in the journal Mycologia by Dr. Anke Brenner. The relevant passage reads:'...given the accelerating mutation rate observed in Ophiocordyceps unilateralis under thermal stress, the emergence of a strain capable of infecting warm-blooded hosts with larger neural architectures cannot be ruled out within the following century. The molecular substrate required for host-neuron interface is already present in primitive form...'▓▓▓▓ [AUDIO DROPOUT - 28s] ▓▓▓▓[SECTION II - EXECUTIVE FUNCTION RETENTION BY INFECTION STAGE]DR. OSEI, K. - NEUROMYCOLOGY DIVISION[audio recovered, moderate quality]"...the fungus does not erase the host early on.At Stage One, Runners, we observe via post-mortem cortical sampling that approximately ten percent of executive function remains active in the prefrontal and anterior cingulate regions. The guilt and momentary hesitation some field operatives have reported before a Runner attacks are believed to be the ten percent of a human being watching what their body is doing and [STATIC - 3s]. We do not know if they experience this continuously or in intervals. We also do not know if they sleep or if [TRACKING ERROR].At Stage Two, Stalkers, retention drops to approximately seven percent. Fungal growth has begun compressing the anterior structures. The host is still present in a reduced sense, but the capacity for emotional regulation of that residual function appears to [INAUDIBLE - 4s].Stage Three, Clickers, retention drops to six percent. Here the residual executive function has a single observable behavior from the field documentation: the host repeatedly attempts to remove fungal growths from the face and scalp.[sound of papers]Stage Four, Bloaters, four percent. At this stage the residual function appears to have no observable output. We infer its presence from electrochemical activity in cortical samples, but the host body no longer expresses it in any detectable way.There is a state we designated as Stage Five, though it is not a stage in the same sense. It occurs when a Bloater-stage host merges with an established fungal network. At that point cortical sampling shows zero percent. The host is gone and what remains is [LONG STATIC - 6s]."███████████████████████████████
[TAPE DAMAGE - approx. 20s lost]
███████████████████████████████[SECTION III - SENSORY ADAPTATION AND ECHOLOCATION]"The mechanism of echolocation development in Stage Three hosts remains the most scientifically anomalous finding in this study.The fungus produces a dense growth layer over the cornea and sclera after years of infection until they are completely occluded. Within three to six weeks of full occlusion, the host begins producing echolocation clicks generated via modifications to the larynx and resonance chambers [INAUDIBLE - 3s]. The adaptation appears fully formed.[pause]We have no accepted model for how this occurs. The speed of adaptation exceeds any known biological mechanism. Conventional evolutionary timescales would require [STATIC] generations.One hypothesis is that the fungal network itself carries adaptive instructions. The modification is encoded in the network and delivered to the host body as a directive rather than arising from mutation. This remains [INAUDIBLE - 2s] speculative but it is the least insufficient explanation we currently have."▓▓▓▓ [TRACKING ERROR - 3s] ▓▓▓▓[SECTION IV - NETWORK RECEPTORS AND SIGNAL ARCHITECTURE]DR. YUEN, P.[image: degraded diagram, nodes connected by lines]"Receptors are nodal points in the fungal network. Physical stimulation of one receptor produces a response at other receptors measurable at distances exceeding [TRACKING ERROR] kilometers.Early hypothesis was that this was a simple pressure-wave system.That is incorrect, as newer studies show that the network encodes location data. If receptor A is stimulated, receptor B registers that receptor A was stimulated. The network is transmitting [INAUDIBLE - 3s] positional information.Preliminary cellular samples of receptor tissue show structures that are analogous to human neurons. The branching, the synaptic gap geometry, the dendritic architecture. We are not saying these are neurons. We are saying the convergent structure is [STATIC - 4s].If what we are looking at is a distributed nervous system that operates across the entire infected zone, the implications for [LONG STATIC - 9s]."███████████████████████████████
[TAPE DAMAGE - approx. 1min lost]
███████████████████████████████[SECTION V - CELLULAR REPLICATION AND AUTONOMOUS MANUFACTURE]DR. OSEI, K."...the fungi carries receptor proteins capable of binding to human DNA sequences. Once bound, the fungal cell copies the DNA.We have observed factory cells in samples from underground deposits not associated with any active infected individual. These are fungal masses that have no host and exist in humid, dark underground environments and are manufacturing modified human cellular material.The replication rate exceeds standard mitosis by a factor of [STATIC - 2s]. Meiosis has not been observed in any sample across the entire study. Every specimen of this fungus, across every stage, every host and every isolated deposit, reproduces asexually.[pause]Although most Stalkers are derived from Runners, part of the Stalker specimens, which field teams have long classified as a kind of stage Two, are now believed to be products of factory cells that produce humanoid-structured growth incorporating human cellular material and are [INAUDIBLE - 5s] not transformed humans.[longer pause]We recommend this finding receive [STATIC - 3s] careful management before public dissemination within the Collective [TRACKING ERROR - 4s]."▓▓▓▓ [AUDIO DROPOUT - 12s] ▓▓▓▓[SECTION VI - POPULATION DATA][image: hand-drawn graph, two lines labeled N.AMERICA and EUROPE]"Global infected population reached peak density in approximately 2019. Since that point, worldwide counts have stabilized.The fungus is not expanding indefinitely. It appears to reach a carrying capacity in a given region and then maintain it.In North America, stabilization has occurred without coordinated management. The Collective [STATIC - 2s] manages its own perimeter. The stabilization appears to be intrinsic to the fungal network's own behavior.In Central Europe, Poland, Czechia, and the Slovak territories, organized regional powers have accelerated containment and achieved lower regional densities than North America.The network is not trying to consume everything. This has implications we have [LONG TRACKING ERROR - 7s] not fully worked through."███████████████████████████████
[TAPE DAMAGE - approx. 30s lost]
███████████████████████████████[SECTION VII - TREATMENT AND PROPHYLAXIS]DR. YUEN, P."...the case of Ellie Williams was for many years treated as singular. The assumption was that her immunity represented a unique genetic condition that could not be replicated outside of her specific [STATIC - 3s].This was a reasonable hypothesis given the data available at the time, but it was wrong.Williams's immunity is the result of a persistent low-grade infection with a non-lethal variant of CBI, present since early childhood. This variant occupied the cortical binding sites before the standard strain could establish itself. The mechanism is competitive exclusion, not genetic [INAUDIBLE].Working with deceased specimens, transferred to the Collective in [INAUDIBLE], our team has developed a candidate mRNA prophylactic that primes the host immune and neurological systems against CBI attachment.It is not a cure as an infected individual cannot be treated with this preparation. But administered prior to exposure, it substantially reduces the probability of successful fungal establishment following a bite event or spore inhalation.[sound of papers]The grain scrutinizer protocol is currently the most effective preventive measure available at scale. Mechanized sifting systems with sub-millimeter mesh filtration remove viable hyphae from grain product before processing. Visual inspection is insufficient. The hyphae are invisible or extremely to the naked eye and survive standard [STATIC].Jakarta had a grain processing facility. The initial contamination event in 2001 occured in a grain storage building. Every major early outbreak traces back to a point where [TRACKING ERROR - 6s].We are still eating grain and we will always eat grain. The filtration infrastructure has to [STATIC - 4s] be [INAUDIBLE - 3s] the Collective's first industrial priority and currently it is fourth. We have submitted this recommendation [LONG STATIC - 11s]."███████████████████████████████
[END OF RECOVERED CONTENT]
[REMAINDER OF TAPE UNREADABLE]
[MAGNETIC DECAY - TOTAL LOSS]
███████████████████████████████
Catalina
she is sitting upright on the bed and has been still for most of the tape, her eyes fixed on the screen. When the static takes over she does not move for several seconds and then, very quietly They retained ten percent. All of them, from the start.
Dima
I haven't known that. I thought that they retained like five percent. And I knew parts of the research, we have been taught at school about what it is, but it was all simplified, because of course it was for children.
Catalina
The WLF never taught us any of it. Not the stages, not the research, nothing. You learned what a Runner looks like, what a Clicker sounds like, and you learned to shoot. That was the curriculum. a pause Ten percent is still a person watching.
Dima
I think everyone should have known the stages of infection, like the FEDRA paper about the stages has been copied and printed and distributed by the Collective everywhere for like a hundred thousand times and even that is at least forty or fifty years old. And our computers might actually be like sixty years old. It's so hard to keep track of the years.
Catalina
The pamphlet told you what to do when you see one. "Stage one, fast, travels in packs, do not let them swarm you", that kind of thing. a short pause It said nothing about what was still inside. looking at him You can learn all four stages from that pamphlet and still have no idea what you are actually looking at.
Dima
Oh, so that's what you meant. Let's also check other tapes.
Scene
Dima ejects the first tape, sets it down, and picks another from the non-digitalized row. This one has no label at all. He inserts it.
█████████████████████████████████████
[TRACKING..]
[SIGNAL WEAK]
█████████████████████████████████████[no title card][image: a concrete room, overhead lighting, two people in improvised protective gear]▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓SPEAKER UNKNOWN[audio severely degraded]"...continuation of the methodology series. This recording covers [INAUDIBLE - 6s] specimen acquisition and [STATIC - 3s] transport procedures as [INAUDIBLE] in use by the [TRACKING ERROR - 5s] division since [STATIC]......the priority during acquisition is rendering the specimen inert without [INAUDIBLE - 4s] destroying the fungal tissue. A single shot to the upper spine or [STATIC - 2s] achieves this in most Stage One and Two specimens. The objective is to cut circulation between the host body and the [INAUDIBLE] without triggering the network response that [LONG STATIC - 8s].[image: blurred, appears to show a Runner slumped against a wall, a person approaching with a box]It must be understood that incapacitation does not stop the fungus. The specimen continues to [STATIC - 4s] grow after the host is inert. You are stopping the [INAUDIBLE - 3s] so the infection can be studied."███████████████████████████████
[TAPE DAMAGE - approx. 25s lost]
███████████████████████████████"...the containment box. Manufactured units are [STATIC - 2s] steel construction, twelve gauge minimum. Field teams operating without Collective supply lines have used [INAUDIBLE - 5s] repurposed refrigeration units, ammunition crates, any sealed metal container with sufficient [TRACKING ERROR - 3s].The box requires ventilation.An unventilated sealed container will accumulate spore [STATIC - 2s] concentration within [INAUDIBLE] hours depending on specimen stage. At that concentration, opening the container in any [STATIC - 4s] environment becomes [INAUDIBLE - 3s] a termination event for the handling team.[sound of something being moved off camera]Ventilation apertures are fitted with [LONG STATIC - 7s] mesh. Pore diameter of [INAUDIBLE] microns or finer, same standard as the grain filtration protocol. If you do not have the mesh, you [TRACKING ERROR - 4s] do not transport the specimen."▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓
[AUDIO LOSS - approx. 40s]
▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓[image: a loading dock, a truck with its rear doors open, two metal crates visible inside]"...transport by truck where roads permit. Rail where [INAUDIBLE - 4s]. The box does not travel in the same compartment as personnel. If the vehicle is [STATIC - 3s] only one compartment, you do not use that vehicle.Checks at [INAUDIBLE] intervals during transit. The check is visual inspection of the ventilation mesh from outside the container. Discoloration [TRACKING ERROR - 5s] or visible mycelial growth around the apertures means the mesh has [STATIC - 6s].If that happens during transit [LONG STATIC - 11s] [LONG STATIC - 11s]...the protocol in that case is in appendix [INAUDIBLE]."███████████████████████████████
[TAPE DAMAGE - approx. 1min lost]
███████████████████████████████[image: interior sealed room, condensation on walls, one overhead light]"...arrival at the facility. The receiving room is negative pressure, sealed [STATIC - 2s] to the surrounding corridor. The specimen is not removed whole.[pause]Sectioning occurs inside the receiving room before any material is moved to analysis. Each section travels to its designated [TRACKING ERROR - 3s] room. Dissection and genetic analysis do not share [STATIC - 2s] space. Cross-contamination between [INAUDIBLE - 5s] would compromise [LONG STATIC - 9s]."▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓
[AUDIO LOSS - approx. 20s]
▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓"...residual material. Everything that does not go to analysis goes to the waste container. The container is sealed, double-walled [STATIC - 3s] and self-ventilating through an internal filtration column.The filtration column handles spore production from residual tissue. Active fungal material continues to grow inside the container after [INAUDIBLE - 4s] and the column prevents that production from reaching the [STATIC - 2s] atmosphere.Containers are not opened after sealing. They are [TRACKING ERROR - 4s] transported in full to the [INAUDIBLE] disposal site.There have been [INAUDIBLE - 2s] incidents with the containers, which we are not [INAUDIBLE - 3s] again. The column indicator on the exterior panel tells you when [TRACKING ERROR - 5s]."███████████████████████████████
[END OF RECOVERED CONTENT]
[REMAINDER OF TAPE UNREADABLE]
███████████████████████████████
Catalina
There were incidents with the containers, or so it seemed. a short pause They did not finish that sentence and I am glad they did not.
Dima
And I remember that I forgot to insert the second dose of the vaccine in you.
Catalina
When was the first dose?
Dima
More than two weeks, it has been four or even more.
Catalina
goes very still Weeks. a pause Do you have the dose on you?
Dima
I still have it on me, I can inject it right now.
Scene
Dima pulls out the kit, the second dose vial, a fresh syringe, the alcohol and wipe. He draws 0.5ml from the vial, sterilizes the tip, then cleans the injection site on her outer calf with the wipe. He brings the needle to the spot and pushes it in slowly, then removes it and presses the wipe against the site, tapping it gently.
Catalina
exhales once through her nose, her eyes on the reader's static Late is better than not at all. a short pause How many doses do you have left?
Dima
None left, it's all in you. And of course I forgot to inject the second dose because I had like a really cool emotional life with you.
Catalina
pulls her trouser leg back down, her eyes moving to him You kept none for yourself, I know. a weighty pause And yes, I noticed the emotional life. dry, but something warm underneath it It is a reasonable excuse.
Dima
I told you...
Catalina
You said it was for a stranger you had not met yet and I am sure that was me.
Dima
All this time, you have been a really cool person.
Catalina
a dry sound So, you used all your doses on someone you did not know yet and then spent weeks forgetting the second one because you were too busy being happy. a pause I think that says more about you than anything you just said about me.
Dima
That's also true, but I think it's also about your skill and charm. You have been different from every other person I have met and I had a ton of compliments about you, but really, I like you...
Catalina
gets up from the bed and puts her arms around him, quiet for a moment I like you too.
Dima
I like it when I feel needed, and you make me feel needed, you make me feel both useful and loved, you know how much that means...
Catalina
stays close, her chin against his shoulder Good, because you are.
Dima
And I could have watched the tapes alone, but you are good company, really...
Catalina
a quiet sound, close to a laugh You woke me up with white noise from a forty year old tape reader and I was good company before I was even awake.
Dima
We come from very different places, the Collective was more like an academic social reconstruction project and the WLF was well, good luck on your own, just make sure you don't get killed from the back and if do get grabbed, well, it's over because you are just told to shut up or quiet and then... yeah, you know how it goes. Or, if at any point you were defeated, you would just say look me in the eye, take it easy or just please and then fight again. Which, I have to say, it's actually very good military logic.
Catalina
a dry sound Yes, that was the doctrine. Get grabbed from behind, say please, hope for the best. settles back against the wall The WLF spent thirty years perfecting how to kill people and apparently nobody got around to the part after that. a pause The Collective at least had a plan for after. It just turned out the plan was steal fuel and argue about democracy until something cracked.
Dima
If you happen to stumble upon a former Collective member like me or a current Collective member, then you have greater odds of surviving a stealth attack, and it only requires saying something very intelligent that is also surprisingly straightforward.
Catalina
glances at him Hello?
Dima
Yeah, and then you say that you have been alone all this time and you do not actually want to fight.
Catalina
goes quiet for a moment, remembering the rumors, the stories she had heard about survivors who turned a near-kill into something else entirely, who said hello into the dark and found a person instead of a target, stories that had always seemed too convenient to be true until she thought about a subway tunnel and a man who simply sat down It depends on the person. a pause But yes, that is more or less how I am still here.
Dima
And Catalina...
Catalina
Say it.
Dima
I ended up dreaming every night hugging you forever.
Catalina
moves closer and puts her arms around him Then stop dreaming it.
Dima
he wraps his arms around her and holds her close I will never stop dreaming it.
Catalina
tightens her arms around him, her voice low Good, because neither will I.
Dima
There have been like so many hugs that I really want this to feel like a big one. Because every time we do a hug, you always say that you will always be here, and I constantly need to be reassured that you will be here, always.
Catalina
tightens her arms around him even further I am here and I am not going anywhere.
Dima
I have avoided saying this thing for long...
Catalina
stays close, waiting
Dima
That it's not just that I like, but it feels more like I love you. And I know this is difficult, but...
Catalina
goes very still for a moment, then pulls him closer It is not difficult. quietly I love you too, I just needed you to say it first.
Dima
Why? Why haven't you told me that when I was afraid to say it?
Catalina
her chin still against his shoulder Because I spent six years being sure of nothing and I wanted to be sure. a short silence I was sure for a while. I just needed to know you were too.
Dima
I have never been saying that I am falling for you, only that I have dedicated my life to you...
Catalina
kisses his cheek, then his forehead, then his other cheek You gave me your last dose. a long pause I knew. I just wanted to hear it.
Dima
And it's so late in the night and waked you up and should have watched you, but...
Catalina
kisses his cheek, then his forehead, then his other cheek again You found tapes about the infection and woke me up to watch them with you. another kiss on his forehead And now it is very late and you have just told me you love me. settles close against him The watch can wait a little longer.
Dima
I have always felt immersed in your world, I just haven't told you those exact words.
Catalina
stays close You did not have to, you were always already in it.
Dima
And at school they told us that your kind attachment is disorganized, but surprisingly...
Catalina
glances at the shelf of tapes, her eyes moving along the non-digitalized row The Collective recorded cordyceps methodology on VHS. They may have recorded everything. gets up slowly and walks to the shelf, reading the spines in the low light
Scene
She stops at a tape with two lines of faded label-maker type. She tilts it toward the light from the reader's standby glow, looks at it for a moment and then inserts it.
TitleAttachment Formation in High-Function Survivor Populations
CohortsWLF, Seraphite, Independent
SourceCSD Behavioral Science Division
LeadDr. Mara Solano, Psy.D
Period2051-2054
StatusInternal distribution only
▓▓▓▓ [TRACKING ERROR - 3s] ▓▓▓▓DR. SOLANO, M. - BEHAVIORAL SCIENCE[audio quality: moderate]"This study was initiated following the first wave of WLF and Seraphite defections into the Collective. Our intake assessments produced a consistent and initially puzzling finding: a disproportionate number of high-functioning individuals from both factions presented with what pre-pandemic literature would classify as disorganized attachment.[pause]Pre-pandemic attachment research, originating with Bowlby and later Ainsworth and Main, identified four primary patterns. Secure attachment: the individual uses close relationships as a stable base, tolerates separation, and returns to connection with relative ease.Anxious attachment: the individual seeks closeness intensely, fears abandonment, and monitors the relationship with high vigilance.Avoidant attachment: the individual suppresses attachment needs, maintains emotional distance, and prioritizes self-sufficiency as a defensive structure.And the fourth: disorganized, also termed fearful-avoidant in adult literature. The individual simultaneously wants and fears closeness. [STATIC - 2s] approach and withdrawal coexist. The behavioral pattern appears inconsistent, contradictory, even incoherent to outside observers.[sound of a page turning]Pre-pandemic, disorganized attachment was associated primarily with early trauma, inconsistent caregiving, or caregivers who were themselves a source of fear. It was considered the least adaptive of the four patterns, correlated with relational instability and difficulty [INAUDIBLE - 3s].What we found in our defector population complicated that assessment considerably."███████████████████████████████
[TAPE DAMAGE - approx. 15s lost]
███████████████████████████████[SECTION II - WLF COHORT FINDINGS]"...the Washington Liberation Front presented a particular case study because its social structure was unusually well documented. Hierarchical, militarized, with attachment between members conditioned primarily through [STATIC - 2s] shared threat rather than deliberate relational practice.Bonds formed under combat conditions and under shared scarcity. Caregiving was functionally absent as a conscious practice. The institutional message was consistent: [INAUDIBLE - 3s] self-sufficiency is survival. Emotional expression is tactically dangerous and closeness is a liability.[pause]And yet our high-functioning WLF subjects formed bonds. Deep ones, often with unexpected individuals, and often rapidly once the defensive structure was breached.The pattern we observed most frequently was this: prolonged avoidance followed by a single precipitating event, after which attachment accelerated at a rate inconsistent with what the literature would predict.We are calling this [TRACKING ERROR - 4s] threshold bonding. The individual maintains the avoidant or disorganized presentation until one specific encounter or gesture crosses a threshold that the individual themselves cannot always articulate. After that crossing, the bond forms with unusual speed and unusual depth.[sound of something set down]The pre-pandemic literature did not have a good model for this because pre-pandemic populations did not routinely experience the conditions that produce it, such as sustained hypervigilance over years, repeated loss and continuous suppression of attachment needs in an environment where expressing those needs was [INAUDIBLE - 4s] operationally dangerous.▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓
[AUDIO DROPOUT - 10s]
▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓[SECTION III - THE INTELLIGENCE VARIABLE]DR. SOLANO, M."This brings us to the finding that generated the most internal debate within our division.Across our sample, disorganized attachment presentation correlated positively with cognitive complexity. The higher the individual's capacity for abstract reasoning, self-reflection, and [INAUDIBLE - 2s] the more likely they were to present as disorganized rather than the simpler avoidant pattern we expected.[pause]Disorganized attachment requires the individual to hold two contradictory states simultaneously: I want closeness, closeness is dangerous and both are true at once. Sustaining that contradiction without resolving it into a simpler avoidant or anxious strategy requires significant [STATIC - 3s] cognitive capacity.Less cognitively complex individuals tend to resolve the contradiction. They collapse into pure avoidance, or pure anxious pursuit, because holding the tension is [INAUDIBLE - 4s] too demanding.The intelligent survivor remains in the disorganized position longer because they are capable of sustaining the contradiction and because they are also more capable of [TRACKING ERROR - 3s] accurately assessing threat.[a longer pause]What this means in practical terms is that a high-function disorganized individual who forms a bond has, by definition, cleared a much higher threshold than a securely attached individual forming the same bond.In our clinical experience, those bonds are among the most stable we have documented in this population."███████████████████████████████
[TAPE DAMAGE - approx. 35s lost]
███████████████████████████████[SECTION IV - SERAPHITE COHORT COMPARATIVE]"...the Seraphite cohort presented differently. Where WLF subjects showed avoidant or disorganized patterns, Seraphite subjects showed a higher proportion of anxious attachment within a rigid group identity structure.The Prophet's teachings produced a social architecture where attachment to the group was mandatory and attachment outside it was [INAUDIBLE - 3s] forbidden. Individual bonding was displaced onto collective identity.High-functioning Seraphite defectors showed not disorganized attachment but something closer to attachment confusion: they had learned to bond with an institution rather than with individuals, and the loss of that institution on defection produced an acute and often [STATIC - 4s] destabilizing period before individual attachment capacity reasserted.WLF subjects, once threshold bonding occurs, tend to [STATIC] stability relatively quickly. Seraphite subjects require a longer period of [TRACKING ERROR - 5s] reorientation before individual bonds consolidate."▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓
[AUDIO DROPOUT - 18s]
▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓[SECTION V - ABSENCE OF DATA ON LOWER-FUNCTION POPULATIONS]DR. SOLANO, M."I want to address directly the methodological limitation that several colleagues raised during our internal review.Our sample is drawn from individuals who survived long enough to defect to the Collective and who were capable of completing intake assessment. We have almost no data on lower-function survivors from the same factions. The reasons are multiple and worth stating clearly.First, survivorship. The conditions that produced our sample also filtered it. Extended independent survival in the infected zones, navigation of factional hierarchies, successful defection, all of these required [INAUDIBLE - 4s] capacities that correlate with the cognitive complexity we are studying. Many individuals who did not share those capacities did not survive to the point of assessment.[pause]Second, presentation. Lower-function survivors who did reach the Collective tended not to present for psychological intake voluntarily [STATIC - 3s].Third, and most concerning from a scientific standpoint, we do not know what we are missing. The attachment patterns of individuals who did not survive, who did not defect, who did not present for intake, are [TRACKING ERROR - 4s] unavailable to us entirely.[a longer pause]What we can say is that within the population we do have access to, the pattern holds. Cognitive complexity correlates with disorganized attachment presentation. Disorganized attachment in this population, contrary to pre-pandemic clinical consensus, does not predict [STATIC - 4s] relational failure.The clinical recommendation we have submitted is to retire the term disorganized as a descriptor for this presentation in survivor populations. It implies dysfunction. What we are looking at is not dysfunction. It is [INAUDIBLE - 3s] a rational response to an environment that made attachment [STATIC - 5s] genuinely dangerous.Calling it disorganized is accurate by the old criteria. By the criteria of this world, it is [TRACKING ERROR - 6s] something closer to careful.[long pause, sound of the room, distant ventilation]Very, very careful. And then, when it finally decides, [LONG STATIC - 12s]."███████████████████████████████
[END OF RECOVERED CONTENT]
[REMAINDER OF TAPE UNREADABLE]
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Catalina
has been sitting on the edge of the bed very still for the last several minutes. When the static comes she does not move for a long time. Careful. quietly, almost to herself That is a better word.
Dima
Yeah... and less cognitively complex individuals are usually those whom you said that they would not spare me if they were in your place.
Catalina
Too far gone in it, that is what I said. The tape would say they resolved the contradiction, choose pure avoidance and stay there. looks at him I was almost there. Six hours is a long time to be alone with nothing but the infection and your own head. a short silence I had just enough left to not resolve it.
Dima
We referred to that event so many times that...
Catalina
a quiet sound We keep coming back to that tunnel and I think we always will.
Dima
he closes the VHS reader and lies on the bed in silence
Catalina
turns off the reader, then lies down beside him and settles against him, her head on his chest, one arm across him, quiet
Dima
This is the honeymoon phase but like weeks have passed. It's the longest phase of love I have ever experienced right now.
Catalina
her voice lowering further With weeks in the forest and sixty year old computers, we have a very specific idea of a honeymoon.
Dima
What specific idea?
Catalina
quietly The kind where you nearly die several times and still end up here. a pause I think that counts for more than a hotel.
Dima
How is that so?
Catalina
quietly Because you chose to stay each time. a long pause So did I.
Dima
We have always been deep from the very start, I was dependent on you even when I shouldn't have...
Catalina
still, her hand resting on his chest I was dependent on you too. I just called it something else for a while.
Dima
A practical arrangement... but no, it was never a practical arrangement.
Catalina
a quiet sound, almost a laugh No, it was never that.
Dima
Every time we touch each other, it's intoxicating, almost like beer.
Catalina
her voice lowering further I would not know. I have not had beer in years. a long silence But yes. keeps him closer Something like that.
Dima
And I have said that I liked your packed hair and noticed a fluff and all that, but really, the way all your hair leaves from that point in your head is really beautiful.
Catalina
a low sound I packed it to keep it out of my eyes. a long silence But you removed a piece of fluff from it some time ago and I could not think of anything to say for a full minute. quietly, her head still on his chest I think you make it look better than it is, or I just see it differently now that you are close.
Dima
Yeah... and when we are close, I also tend to notice your eyes being relaxed, and despite not trying to laugh or smile, I notice when you are trying to laugh or smile.
Catalina
very quiet So, I am not as hard to read as I thought I was. a pause Around you, anyway.
Dima
And then when I have seen you curling in the red mist, your eyes tired, breathing in the mask... I felt really bad for you. There could have been infected lying around. And right now, I feel bad for you for not having been able to learn everything that actually happened, the infection...
Catalina
a short silence Do not feel bad for me. her voice lowering further Even if I had wanted to know, the WLF was not going to hand me a tape from the Collective's behavioral science division. a long silence That version of me, in the red, with the mask, had no access to any of it. The tapes were here and I was not, and tonight I am here. settles closer That is enough.
Dima
But then isn't education that made you smart and emotional?
Catalina
quiet for a moment I read everything I could find. a pause The WLF had books. Not many, and nobody encouraged it, but they were there. her voice lowering further I think I was always like this. The reading just gave it somewhere to go.
Dima
You are tired, we are both tired. We should seal everything and sleep.
Catalina
already half asleep, her voice low Rifle is within reach. Door is solid. a long silence We are fine. keeps him closer and closes her eyes Sleep, Dima.
Chapter Sixteen
The Motel, Morning
Scene
The first light shines through the motel curtains, thin and grey. The battery indicator has gone dark long ago. Dima stirs first.
Catalina
her hand moving before she is fully awake, finds his arm and holds it Stay a little longer.
Dima
Sure...
Catalina
still half asleep, her hand on his arm Good. a long silence, the light shifting slowly across the ceiling We have nowhere to be yet.
Dima
Why? I thought we were going to the communities close to Barbara.
Catalina
a quiet sound We are. a pause I said yet. her hand still on his arm Barbara is not going anywhere. The communities have been there for years. a short silence One morning is not going to cost us anything.
Dima
What are you thinking about?
Catalina
shifts slightly, looking at the ceiling That I slept, but not the way I usually sleep. Both eyes closed, no part of me listening. a short silence I had my arm on you and I did not wake up once to check the door. very quietly I have not done that in six years.
Dima
You have not done a lot of things in six years. And even though I see that you are convincing yourself that you haven't changed, that you have only given names like in "sophism", you are changing...
Catalina
shifts slightly, her shoulder against his You are right. A sophism is deliberate. a short silence I was not lying to anyone else. I was just... not looking directly at it.
Dima
But even lying to yourself can be bad, that is why it is good to have someone to tell you, well, this is wrong...
Catalina
shifts again, very still now, a tear forming without her moving to stop it The first thing I said to you after the subway was that it was a practical arrangement. quietly I knew that was not true when I said it. a short silence I have been doing that my whole life, not looking at things directly. The WLF taught me that and I thought I left it behind with everything else.
Dima
You eventually said the truth, but I can understand why you are remembering the lies more than the truths you have said...
Catalina
wipes the tear with the back of her hand, quietly Because the truths took so long. a short silence You deserved them earlier than you got them.
Dima
he puts his hand on her arm Listen, it is okay now. You have been trained to be a soldier like all the others in your group and the tendencies persist even though you are aware of them, and you don't have to force them away right now.
Catalina
quietly I know. a short silence, then she turns and buries her face against his shoulder, her voice muffled I am really sorry. For what I did to myself. For the people I walked past because I had learned how to not see them. stays close, not moving I do not know how to fix most of it.
Dima
You don't have to fix it, you have just acknowledged you had a difficult past.
Catalina
still close, her voice low We did not have that word. You either moved on or you did not. a short silence Nobody ever said you could just sit with it, to look at it and not do anything about it yet.
Dima
I am here for you, to cry as hard and as long as you need, to help you in processing the past.
Catalina
a quiet sound against his shoulder, somewhere between a breath and a cry I have never had that either. stays close, her hand finding his Someone just letting it happen without needing me to be finished with it.
Dima
You can never be finished with it, some things just take time.
Catalina
still close, her voice very quiet I spent a long time thinking that the goal was to be finished. a short silence That if you just kept moving, eventually it would stop following you.
Dima
But it does not.
Catalina
cries harder, her voice unsteady I am such a mess. a silence broken only by her breathing I spent so long making sure nobody could see it and now I can see all of it at once and I do not know what to do with that.
Dima
he holds her a bit tighter You are not a mess, you are someone who is trying to process the hard truth, that things take time. You are seeing through the self-deception, and self-awareness is a very good thing.
Catalina
stays close, her breathing slowing gradually You are very patient with me. quietly, her face still against his shoulder I do not know what I did to deserve that.
Dima
I do not have anything to do, only listen to you.
Catalina
very quiet, her face still against his shoulder I know. her voice breaking slightly I was seventeen. I thought I was old enough to decide something like that. quietly, more to herself than to him Why did I go? Why did I think that was the answer? a small, wet sound I was just a girl who did not know anything yet and I walked straight into it.
Dima
The only option in the WLF is to be a soldier, you could delay being a soldier, but you eventually still had to enroll. That is how they got a massive army, conscript every girl and boy.
Catalina
crying harder now Why was I not smarter earlier? her voice unsteady Why did it take all of this, all of this distance, all of this time, just to meet one person who sat down next to me and talked to me like a human being? a short silence, her breath catching I could have found you sooner. I could have left earlier. quietly I wasted so much of it.
Dima
It is very hard to actually leave the WLF, if at any point you decide to become friends with people like me, with a Seraphite or anyone else they don't like, they hunt you.
Catalina
very quiet, her face still against his shoulder I know. a short silence I watched it happen. her breathing steadies slightly You did not leave the WLF. You survived it long enough to walk away when there was nothing left to walk away from. a pause That is not the same as choosing to leave. a short, tired sound I told myself it was.
Dima
You have told yourself lies to survive, but now you can dismantle the lies you no longer need.
Catalina
crying harder, her voice raw Why does nobody ever just say it is okay to be angry about it? a short silence Every time I ask something like this I get an explanation. The WLF was this, the system was that, the circumstances were. quietly, her voice breaking I know all of that. I just want someone to tell me I am allowed to be furious that it happened to me.
Dima
You are right to be furious about what happened, you can vent for as long as you need.
Catalina
a long breath, then it starts coming I was nine when the school closed. Nine. And after that everything I learned was how to be useful to them. her voice tightens Nobody asked me what I wanted. Nobody asked Petra either and she was fourteen and could not read. a short silence I turned a family back into the winter once. A man and two small children. I followed the order and I walked away and I spent four years telling myself I did not know what happened to them. her voice breaks slightly I knew. I always knew. And I could not tell anyone because there was no one to tell. a silence, her hand tightening around his I was so lonely for so long and I turned it into discipline because that was the only thing they gave me a word for. quieter now, the anger running deeper I never slept, not really, not until last night. I was seventeen years old and I handed myself over to something that used that and gave me nothing back. a short, ragged breath And the worst part is I am only furious about it now. I should have been furious then.
Dima
he listens quietly and nods
Catalina
a short silence I have said some of this to you already. quietly, almost to herself I am burdening you. another silence No. No, you said I could. a small, unsteady breath You said as long as I need. shifts slightly, still close Every day was the same shape. Wake up checking the walls. Walk the perimeter checking behind you. Eat in groups because eating alone made you a target. recounting rather than feeling There was always someone watching you to see if you were soft. If you were soft you became a problem. So you made yourself hard and you kept it there until you forgot you were doing it. a short pause And the things people said. About the Seraphites, about the Collective. Visceral things. I sat in those circles and I laughed when it seemed right to laugh and said nothing when I disagreed because I had already learned what happened when you disagreed once. quietly I let those words go through me for years. I do not know how much of it stayed. her voice drops lower And then the queues. For food, for assignments, for medical. Always waiting to be told what you were worth that week. a short silence I lived like that for years and I am only now realizing I do not have to anymore. something between a laugh and a cry That is embarrassing.
Dima
I have heard like a ton of stories similar to what you have just said, so you are not alone.
Catalina
lifts her head slightly Where did you hear them?
Dima
I heard them from documents, some people from WLF or the Seraphites or any other faction write their stories in full.
Scene
She goes quiet for a moment, then looks toward the shelf. She gets up slowly, wipes her face with the back of her hand, and walks to the tape row, running her finger along the non-digitalized tapes until she stops at one near the middle. She tilts it toward the light. The spine has three handwritten letters in faded marker: W.L.F. She looks at it for a moment, then at him, and inserts it.
Scene
She sits on the edge of the bed beside him. The tape loads without much resistance, the signal finding itself quickly.
TitleTestimonies from Former WLF Upper Operational Tier - Vol. 3
SourceCollective Welfare Documentation Project, East Seattle
SubjectMarcus Venn, former WLF logistics coordinator, age 41 at recording
Period2052-2053
ConditionModerate / Audio channels A and B partial
▓▓▓▓ [TRACKING - 2s] ▓▓▓▓INTERVIEWER - CSD WELFARE DOCUMENTATION PROJECT[audio quality: moderate]"Marcus, can you describe your role within the WLF before you defected?"▓▓▓▓ [TRACKING ERROR - 2s] ▓▓▓▓MARCUS VENN - SUBJECT[audio: moderate, occasional dropout]"Logistics. Supply coordination, primarily. I managed food allocation across twelve sectors, cross-referenced patrol schedules with resupply timelines, kept the numbers. If a sector had eighty people and was receiving rations for sixty, I was the one who knew about it first."[pause]"I was never on a patrol and I never fired at anyone. I had that to tell myself for a long time and I did tell myself, quite often. [INAUDIBLE - 2s] I have stopped doing that."[image: a man in his forties, calm face, hands folded on the table in front of him. He does not look at the camera directly]INTERVIEWER"When did you first understand that the numbers were being used to make decisions that cost people their lives?"MARCUS VENN"Earlier than I admitted for years, maybe six months in. There was a sector on the east perimeter, a civilian sector, older residents mostly. Their allocation kept getting reduced because command decided the eastern patrols were the priority resource. I put the numbers in the ledger every week. By the third month the mortality reports from that sector started coming in at about double the rate of the others. I filed those too. [INAUDIBLE - 3s] I made sure everything was accurate."███████████████████████████████
[TAPE DAMAGE - approx. 10s lost]
███████████████████████████████INTERVIEWER"You mentioned the third Island campaign. Can you speak about your role in the planning phase?"MARCUS VENN"I ran the logistics projections. Troop count, ammunition supply lines, food for the campaign duration. I had it in a document four months before the order came down. My projection showed that at the force levels being discussed, the campaign would require three times the resupply capacity we actually had. I submitted that document. [STATIC - 2s] I submitted it twice and the second time I added a summary paragraph at the top in case the numbers were not being read all the way through."[a silence]"The order went through unchanged. I was told the summary paragraph was not in keeping with the format of a logistics report and I should remove it before filing. [INAUDIBLE - 4s] I removed it, I filed it and then I went home and I cooked something and I did not think about it until the casualty reports started coming back from the Island."▓▓▓▓ [AUDIO DROPOUT - 6s] ▓▓▓▓INTERVIEWER"What was different about the upper tier experience compared to what front-line soldiers described to us?"MARCUS VENN"We knew more, that is the honest answer. A soldier on a patrol knows what they see. I knew what twelve sectors looked like simultaneously, the infection mortality trend lines, the civilian compliance rates, the resource burn calculations and exactly what kind of machine I was feeding numbers into and what it was producing with them. [STATIC - 2s] The front-line soldiers had the excuse of limited visibility but I had complete visibility and just turned it into a very organized set of documents and put them in the right drawers."[long pause]"There were conversations in the operational offices. What you would call social conversations. People making jokes about the Seraphites, about the Collective, visceral things. I understood very quickly that those conversations were not optional. If you did not participate you became a question mark and question marks got reassigned. So I laughed in the right places and said the expected things. [INAUDIBLE - 3s] I was very good at it, had a lot of practice."███████████████████████████████
[TAPE DAMAGE - approx. 20s lost]
███████████████████████████████INTERVIEWER"What made you leave when you did?"MARCUS VENN"The last filing I did before I defected was a post-campaign casualty summary from the Island. I had a standard form for it. Name, sector, cause of death, date. Normally I could do one of those forms in under a minute. [INAUDIBLE - 2s] This one took me four days because every time I opened it I found something else to do instead. On the fourth day I finished it and then I sat with it for a while and I thought, there is a version of me that files this and goes home and cooks something and I cannot find that version of myself anymore. [STATIC - 3s]""I walked north until I hit the Collective's perimeter. They asked me what I had. I told them I had fourteen months of complete operational ledgers in my head and they could have all of it if they let me in. [INAUDIBLE - 4s] They let me in."███████████████████████████████
[END OF RECOVERED CONTENT]
[REMAINDER OF TAPE UNREADABLE]
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Catalina
very still after the static He performed it the whole time. quietly I do not know which one of us had it worse.
Dima
I haven't watched any of the logistics department testimonies, I knew only about the front line conditions, and you were on the front line.
Catalina
quietly The front line is where you actually die. a short silence The paperwork people had that to fall back on. I had the infected and the Seraphites and whoever else command decided was a threat that week. a pause He got to go home and cook while I slept against walls.
Dima
And now you are free from the command and in love.
Catalina
puts her arms around him without a word, quiet for a moment Yes. very softly Both of those things at once.
Dima
Time is passing but I don't want to let go.
Catalina
tightens her arms slightly Then don't.
Dima
I am hungry, but I am distracting myself with you.
Catalina
a quiet sound, still close There is not much in the pack. a short silence But I am not ready to move yet either. a pause Give me five more minutes and then we find something.
Scene
Five minutes pass. Catalina is the one who moves first, slowly, untangling herself and reaching for her pack on the floor beside the bed. She pulls out two wrapped portions, checks them and sets them on the bed. Then she notices the kitchenette in the corner and goes to it, opening the first drawer. Empty. Opens the second. She pauses.
Catalina
holds up a tin of beans and a small sealed packet of crackers, examining both Someone left provisions. sets them on the counter, opens the cupboard above There is also a tin of something that has lost its label. picks it up, shakes it Liquid, probably soup.
Dima
Good, that could be useful. I am not ready to eat yet.
Catalina
sets the tins and crackers alongside the wrapped portions, then packs all of it carefully into her pack and closes it When you are ready. comes back and sits on the edge of the bed We have enough for today and part of tomorrow.
Dima
Yeah... and eventually, we'll have to let go, but when you cry, when you vent, I want to be there with you all the time, because what you feel matters a lot to me, probably more than you think.
Catalina
sits with that for a moment, her hands in her lap I know it does. quietly That is still new to me, someone meaning it. a short silence I am learning to believe it when you say it instead of looking for the reason it cannot be true.
Dima
Every time I am around you, I feel the need to say affectionate things, every single time.
Catalina
a quiet sound, almost a laugh I know. a short silence I feel the same way and I cannot stop it. looks at him I say something and then I think, that is too much, and then I say something else anyway.
Dima
And you know, when someone picks some cherries from the tree for you, you feel gratitude towards that person and you are more likely to trust or rely on them in the future. And the same thing also happens for you.
Catalina
quietly You have no idea how much I owe you. goes silent, her eyes down
Dima
You didn't owe me anything...
Catalina
a short silence I know. softly That is what makes it so much.
Scene
The room goes quiet for a long moment. Then Catalina leans in and kisses his cheek, then his forehead, then the other cheek, then his forehead again, unhurried.
Catalina
stays close after, her forehead almost against his We could stay another day. a short silence There is enough food. another silence, then she pulls back slowly and reaches for her rifle But we do not. stands, checks the rifle and slings her pack Can't wait forever.
Dima
he starts preparing his pack, placing the laptop inside and slinging it on his back Yeah...
Scene
The door opens, exposing the grey morning light, cool and damp, the road stretching south through low mist. Catalina steps out first, scans both directions, then holds the door.
Catalina
looks back at the motel room once, then at him That was a really good stop. starts walking south
Dima
Yeah, it was the first time when we just talked love.
Catalina
walking beside him First time I truly did not try to call it something else.
Chapter Seventeen
The Road South, Morning
Scene
Three days south of the motel, the road has been mostly quiet, winding through the forest transitioning from high trees to low vegetation. By mid-morning they pass through the edge of a small village, mostly collapsed. At the far end, past a rusted fuel station and a row of houses, Catalina stops in front of an intact warehouse.
Catalina
runs her hand along the door seam This has been maintained for some time. tries to push the handle of a roll door It's unlocked. steps inside first, rifle up, scanning
Dima
It's empty...
Scene
After a while, Dima starts approaching a table near the centre of the warehouse. There are two sealed boxes on it, in good condition. He opens one.
Dima
Hey, check this out!
Catalina
comes over, looking at the open box What is that?
Dima
reading the label Meridian Remote Communicator...
Catalina
picks up the second box and opens it, then lifts out the device It is lighter than I expected. looks at the small screen, the stylus slotted into the side What does remote communicator mean, exactly?
Dima
I don't know... further unboxing his device Cables everywhere, power box, memory card, "don't lose this"...
Scene
Dima finds the power bank, a flat sealed unit smaller than his palm, and connects it to the port on his device. A small LED goes green and then the screen wakes. The boot is almost instant, nothing like anything they have used before. Catalina connects the power bank from her box to the second device. The LED goes green with the same boot sequence and same three seconds. Both devices arrive at the same screen.
Meridian Remote
QNX Neutrino 3.1 / Meridian Build 2.4.1 Meridian Computing Systems Ltd
Initializing P2P radio stack...
Loading proximity network drivers...
System ready.
Meridian Remote Communicator
Dima
Meridian Remote
QNX Neutrino 3.1 / Meridian Build 2.4.1 Meridian Computing Systems Ltd
Initializing P2P radio stack...
Loading proximity network drivers...
System ready.
Meridian Remote Communicator
Catalina
Meridian RemoteNo signal
This device has not been set up. Please complete the setup wizard before use.
Meridian Remote Communicator
Dima
Meridian RemoteNo signal
This device has not been set up. Please complete the setup wizard before use.
Meridian Remote Communicator
Catalina
Scene
Both tap Begin Setup.
Step 1 of 4
Language
● English (US)
○ Español
○ Français
○ Deutsch
Meridian Remote Communicator
Dima
Step 1 of 4
Language
● English (US)
○ Español
○ Français
○ Deutsch
Meridian Remote Communicator
Catalina
Scene
Both select English and tap Next.
Step 2 of 4
Device Name
This name identifies your device to nearby Remote Series units.
Dima
Meridian Remote Communicator
Dima
Step 2 of 4
Device Name
This name identifies your device to nearby Remote Series units.
Catalina
Meridian Remote Communicator
Catalina
Scene
Both tap Next.
Step 3 of 4
Date and Time
Date
MM / DD / YYYY
Time
HH : MM
Time zoneUTC-8 Pacific
Meridian Remote Communicator
Dima
Step 3 of 4
Date and Time
Date
MM / DD / YYYY
Time
HH : MM
Time zoneUTC-8 Pacific
Meridian Remote Communicator
Catalina
Scene
They look at each other briefly. Neither knows the exact date. Dima enters an approximation and Catalina does the same. Both tap Next.
Step 4 of 4
Proximity Network
Communicates directly with nearby Remote Series units. No cell tower required. Range: up to 400 metres.
Auto-discover devicesON
Allow callsON
Allow messagesON
Meridian Remote Communicator
Dima
Step 4 of 4
Proximity Network
Communicates directly with nearby Remote Series units. No cell tower required. Range: up to 400 metres.
Auto-discover devicesON
Allow callsON
Allow messagesON
Meridian Remote Communicator
Catalina
Scene
Both tap Finish. Both devices go briefly dark, then open to the home screen. Within seconds a banner drops from the top of each.
Home 1 device
Nearby device found Catalina - In range
Connect
Calls
Messages
Files
Contacts
Maps
Notes
Sensor
Settings
Meridian Remote Communicator
Dima
Home 1 device
Nearby device found Dima - In range
Connect
Calls
Messages
Files
Contacts
Maps
Notes
Sensor
Settings
Meridian Remote Communicator
Catalina
Dima
Let's click to connect, I don't know what this thing is.
Scene
Dima taps the banner on his device. A connection wizard opens.
Connect to "Catalina"
This is your first connection to this device. A connection profile must be configured before continuing.
Meridian Remote Communicator
Dima
Scene
He taps Set Up Connection.
Connection Setup - 1 of 5
Select Modem
● Meridian P2P Radio (built-in)
○ External serial modem
○ Manual entry
Proximity radio emulates a dial-up connection. No phone line required.
Meridian Remote Communicator
Dima
Connection Setup - 2 of 5
Modem Settings
PortCOM3 (P2P Radio)
Baud rate115200
Data bits8
ParityNone
Stop bits1
Hardware flow controlON
Meridian Remote Communicator
Dima
Connection Setup - 3 of 5
Dial String
DialMERIDIAN://Catalina
Use device name as addressON
Prefix-
Suffix-
Meridian Remote Communicator
Dima
Connection Setup - 4 of 5
Protocol
PPP (recommended)ON
Compression
Data compressionON
Header compressionON
Error correctionON
Meridian Remote Communicator
Dima
Connection Setup - 5 of 5
Summary
NameCatalina
ModemP2P Radio
AddressMERIDIAN://Catalina
ProtocolPPP
Baud115200
Save profileON
Meridian Remote Communicator
Dima
Connecting...
Connecting to "Catalina"
▐▌Dialling MERIDIAN://Catalina
Establishing PPP link...
Meridian Remote Communicator
Dima
Catalina
looks at her screen, which has just shown an incoming connection prompt Mine is asking something.
Scene
Catalina's device shows an incoming request. She taps Set Up Host.
Incoming Request
Dima wants to connect. This device must act as the connection host.
Meridian Remote Communicator
Catalina
Host Setup - 1 of 4
Host Mode
This device will manage the connection link and assign network settings automatically.
● Auto-configure (recommended)
○ Manual configuration
Meridian Remote Communicator
Catalina
Host Setup - 2 of 4
Address Assignment
Host address192.168.88.1
Client address192.168.88.2
Subnet mask255.255.255.0
Assign automaticallyON
Meridian Remote Communicator
Catalina
Host Setup - 3 of 4
Host Modem
PortCOM3 (P2P Radio)
Baud rate115200
ParityNone
● Auto-answer on incoming dial
○ Manual answer only
PPP compressionON
Meridian Remote Communicator
Catalina
Host Setup - 4 of 4
Summary
Host nameCatalina
Host address192.168.88.1
ClientDima → .88.2
Answer modeAuto
Meridian Remote Communicator
Catalina
Host Active
Incoming: Dima
✓Assigning address
✓PPP link active
✓Host ready
ClientDima
Signal████████░░
Meridian Remote Communicator
Catalina
Network Active
Connected to "Catalina"
Signal████████░░
LinkPPP / P2P Radio
Speed115200 bps
Call
Message
Files
Meridian Remote Communicator
Dima
Network Active
Connected to "Dima"
Signal████████░░
LinkPPP / P2P Radio
Speed115200 bps
Call
Message
Files
Meridian Remote Communicator
Catalina
Catalina
looks at her screen, which mirrors the same menu It connected. We are standing next to each other.
Dima
Yeah, but of course this would be meant for remote communication.
Scene
Both devices produce a notification simultaneously.
Alert
Environmental Alert
Radiation level: +4.2 rem above baseline (environment)
Source direction: NNW
Confidence: Moderate
This reading may indicate proximity to nuclear material.
Meridian Remote Communicator
Dima
Alert
Environmental Alert
Radiation level: +4.2 rem above baseline (environment)
Source direction: NNW
Confidence: Moderate
This reading may indicate proximity to nuclear material.
Meridian Remote Communicator
Catalina
Catalina
looks up from the screen toward the north-northwest wall These things have a radiation sensor and something nearby is setting it off.
Dima
Uranium?
Scene
Beside a second door at the back of the warehouse, pinned to the wall with a rusted tack, there is a folded sheet of paper. Catalina takes it carefully. The paper is dry but the ink has gone in patches.
Grocery list: IMPORTANT!
Need to get to Meridian store before
anyone else does, four of the Remote
Communicators if still in stock. One
each for ████ and the kids so we can
stay in range without yelling across
Reactor still running. Capsule two
has maybe three months left based on
████████████ so need to order from
Renee before the ████ closes the road.
Do NOT let ████ touch the override.
If anyone finds this:
the ████████████████████
████████ we made it to ██████████
████████████████████████████████
████████████████████████████████
Catalina
folds the note carefully and sets it back There was a family here. tries to open the door beside the note It opens.
Scene
The room behind the door is small and clean. Against the far wall, taking up most of the space, sits a unit roughly the size of a large shelf, grey panelled and sealed with a recessed handle. A display panel is mounted at eye level. Catalina pulls the recessed handle and the panel lights up.
Renee Nuclear, Model RHX-4 Residential● SHUTDOWN
Reactor Status
Core stateSHUTDOWN
Power output0.00 kW
Coolant loopPASSIVE CIRCULATION
Coolant temp34°C - Nominal
PressureNominal
ContainmentSealed / Intact
Control Rods
Rods inserted6 / 6 - 100%
Rod positionFULL DOWN
Fuel
Capsule typeU-235 CERAMIC
Capsule statusDEPLETED
ACTIVE FAULT: AZ5
Safety Control Rod Axe Man sequence executed. Emergency shutdown triggered. All control rods inserted. Core brought to safe stop.
AZ5 cannot be cleared via software. 1. Physically verify all 6 rods are fully seated. 2. Press HARDWARE VERIFY on rear panel.
Catalina
reads the panel to the end, then steps back Someone was running a reactor in their house.
Dima
Oh my god... a nuclear reactor, but from what I have learned, nuclear was a safe source of power, excluding several isolated incidents. Let's click on manual override and not do anything to it.
RHX-4 - Manual Override Interface● FAULT ACTIVE
Reactor Status
Core stateSHUTDOWN
Power output0.00 kW
Coolant loopPASSIVE CIRCULATION
Coolant temp34°C - Nominal
PressureNominal
ContainmentSealed / Intact
Control Rods
Rods inserted6 / 6
Rod positionFULL DOWN
VerifiedNO - Hardware confirm required
Fuel
CapsuleU-235 CERAMIC RHX-C4
Capsule statusDEPLETED
ACTIVE FAULT: AZ5
Safety Control Rod Axe Man sequence has been executed. Until cleared, enclosure remains locked and startup is disabled.
To clear: verify rods physically, then press HARDWARE VERIFY on rear panel.
Dima
taps System Log
RHX-4 - System Log● 6 entries
Shutdown - AZ5
Automatic SCRAM executed. All 6 rods inserted in 0.3s. Passive cooling engaged. Core temperature nominal within 4 hours. Status: safe.
Fault - Rod Friction
Control rod 4 showing elevated insertion resistance, 12% above nominal. Rod still functional but within early warning threshold. Inspection recommended.
Fault - Coolant Sensor
Coolant loop sensor B returning intermittent readings. Sensor A nominal. Automatic fallback to single-sensor mode active.
Fault - Neutron Flux
Flux detector array C offline. Arrays A and B nominal. Redundant monitoring reduced to two of three detectors.
Warning - Unit Age
This unit has exceeded its nominal 50-year service life. Cumulative material fatigue across multiple subsystems now outside certified operating parameters. Continued operation without certified Renee service inspection is not recommended.
Warning - Fuel Depleted
Uranium ceramic capsule output below minimum threshold for sustained reaction. Capsule exchange required. Standard capsule: U-235 CERAMIC RHX-C4.
Note - Extended Controls
One or more faults on this unit exceed software override capability. Extended controls are available only in large-scale installations or via Renee Extended Control Panel connected through keyed serial port (KSP-2). Software override of structural degradation faults is intentionally not implemented in this firmware.
Catalina
reads to the end without speaking, then looks at the unit It executed AZ5 because it was too old and too degraded to keep going safely. quietly We should leave it as it is.
Dima
Yeah, let's leave it as it is.
Scene
The panel produces a popup before either of them steps away.
RHX-4 - Display Notice
Display Auto-Shutoff
No user attention detected. The display draws from residual capacitor charge. When the reactor is not operating, display use should be minimised to conserve energy.
5...
Scene
The panel goes dark before either of them can respond.
Catalina
steps back from the unit It watches you. looks at the blank panel for a moment, then at him We should go.
Dima
Yeah, there is not much in here, and I didn't expect to have so many electronics.
Scene
They go back to the table. Dima places the kit in his pack: device, power bank, stylus, the short cable and the memory card with the "do not lose this" tag still attached. Catalina does the same with hers, fitting each component back into the shaped foam cutout before sliding the whole tray into her pack.
Catalina
slings her pack A computer, a laptop, and now two of these. goes towards the roll door We initially had one broken machine and a manual.
Dima
Yeah, and now we have a ton of machines, and now we don't know what to use Windows 2000 for, but we listened to music on the laptop last time and played Full Tilt.
Catalina
stepping outside, squinting into the light The MC5896 has the route notes and the documents, that is all I have used it for. looks at her pack It is a large box to carry for text. starts walking south Although I did not expect to find two more devices in a warehouse.