The air above the Várzea Plaza is thick with the smell of the estuary, copper and salt, carried inland by the slow waves of the Novo Mar that swallowed the old jungle decades before anyone alive here was born. Condensation trails from the cooling vents along the mall's upper arcade, where a row of storefronts faces the open-air square below.
Down in the square, several hundred people have gathered on the repaved stones, some holding laminated placards lettered by hand, others filming with cheap wristbands or standing very still.
Above, from behind the glass counter of Maré Atelier, a luxury accessories boutique on the mall's second-floor arcade, a young woman with long brown hair watches the square through a display of lacquered resin handbags. She has been watching since her break ended.
The crowd settles and someone steps forward to the speaker cluster.
* * *
Belizarstepping up on the makeshift platform I am Belizar and I am not a leader of the protest, but since no one has stepped to speak up, here I am. The international poverty line has been defined by the World Bank as three dollars a day, or two fifty dollars a day depending on whether we are using the old line or new line. We are above the line, but we are all still in poverty and some of us are traumatized by the images in the so-called safety training. We have never been allowed to talk about our pay, despite that it's officially perfectly legal to talk about pay. I am paid two fifty per task and I have twenty tasks per day, so I am paid fifty dollars per day, but that is not enough in this flooded, negligent world where you need at least a hundred dollars per day to not only survive but afford to be free.
continuing after a short pause We have been promised that the Large Economic Planning Model will bring us prosperity and eventually make money unnecessary, but that didn't happen. What happened is that detachments inspired from what used to be Anthropic and OpenAI fourty years ago are constantly switching the government, switching constitutions, promoting whatever values they seem to have. At least it's slightly better when a detachment inspired from Anthropic governs, but not a lot of things will change besides that the radios will constantly say that the next big powerful constitution, coding and whatever model has been created using our labor, and when the government switches to a detachment inspired from OpenAI, you hear that low fry once again telling you to trust that everything will be alright.
rising voice But we are not going to trust those corporations anytime soon, we need real democracy, where we can actually participate in elections without having to create a company, where we can actually control how the economy is planned. stepping off the platform after finishing
* * *
Iarashe sets the lacquered bag down on the counter, unclips her name tag, and walks down the arcade stairs Excuse me, hey, you were the one who just spoke, weren't you, because I work up there and I heard every word you said, and I, laughing softly at herself I would really like to buy you a coffee, if that's alright.
Belizarturning to her You know how much a coffee costs? Rather not buy.
Iaraa small laugh escaping her Fair enough, so we walk then, I have fifteen minutes left and I really do want to hear more from you.
BelizarWell, I am Belizar, what's your name?
Iarabrushing a strand of brown hair from her face Iara, I sell bags up there that cost more than either of us makes in a month.
BelizarAnd I am a data worker, I label images and text and those in Europe don't know that those people even exist.
Iaraher voice lowering They think the model just appears, like it grew from the water or something, and you and everyone in that square are the reason it works at all.
BelizarYou look really young, like everyone who sells bags in this mall looks very young, and I am too.
Iaraa quiet smile Twenty-two, and they hire young because we smile on schedule and accept what the manager says without asking too many questions.
BelizarI am twenty-four, and labelers are of all kinds. I work at home, every day I have to either look at twenty images or read twenty long random passages of text. The task is, draw boxes, place label, which seem simple but are in fact extremely tiring. No one seems me when I work at home, I feel extremely lonely doing all of this alone and not being allowed to say how I am being paid, at least I am willing to be fired for this, and next time I'll clean parks and die in the heat.
Iaraquietly, worrying Please don't say that about the heat, and what you're describing, the kind of alone where your work is everywhere and you are nowhere, I know that feeling too, even behind a counter.
BelizarLike, in the counter you must feel really lonely too, right?
Iaraleaning against the railing, looking back up at the store for a moment Eight hours smiling at people who spend three hundred dollars on a bag and walk away without making eye contact, yes, lonely is exactly the word.
BelizarI don't have three hundred dollars to spend on a bag, but I have to spend on food, and ironically, I also spend money paying for the same model that I am training so eventually, I could use it to do the work for me so I can get outside, because I trust the model is capable of making its own judgements, it's like four hundred trillion parameters and two times more intelligent than me at placing boxes. Unfortunately I have been reprimanded for using the model to train itself instead of using myself to place boxes, the number of tasks has increased while the pay reduced.
Iaraa flicker in her expression So they punished you for finding a smarter way to do their own work, raised the task count, cut the pay, and somewhere a boardroom is calling that an efficiency gain.
BelizarCome on, like we are living in this very clean city, we are supposed to have the best or at least decent treatment and then somewhere a boardroom decides something and boardroom is not here, it's further north on a completely different continent.
Iaraquiet frustration coming through They built the distance in deliberately, so the city looks good in the Ecological Alliance reports and the people who made it look that way are somewhere in a spreadsheet, too small to read.
BelizarI think the Ecological Alliance is pointless, it's there to look like an opposition to the Group For Progress, there are all those weird, performative names...
Iaranodding slowly The Group for Progress at least admits what it wants, and the Alliance prints documents about ocean recovery targets, holds summits with very beautiful names, and that counts as governance apparently.
BelizarWe are already trying to survive in a world where they say, it will be all okay, we will survive, just trust the World Bank it will set the right poverty lines and the right aid, while the IMF will give "structural adjustments" and Our World In Data said, well, it will not be the apocalypse, we will not die out of the rising seas.
Iaraher voice rising a little, then catching herself, looking briefly at the store window above where a row of bags sits perfectly lit They kept saying it wouldn't be the apocalypse, and they were technically correct, and now I sell leather to people who flew here from Geneva, a short, tired laugh I genuinely do not know how I ended up there.
BelizarYou know, let's not sit at the store on the ground floor, let's go outside.
Iaraturning toward the stairs, her name tag still unclipped in her hand Yes, the air is better outside.
* * *
They walk out through the mall's side exit onto the embankment facing the Novo Mar, where the old floodplain begins, wide and brown with patches of blue. Iara looks out at the water for a moment and then sits alongside the low concrete wall with Belizar.
Iaratightening in her throat Did anyone actually care, before it all went under, I mean really care, or was it always like this?
Belizarnoticing her emotion, his throat also tightening slightly I... don't know... some did care, many others didn't... it feels like we are invisible, but we need to have strength...
Iaraturning to look at him, her eyes a little wet, very quiet Strength is easier when someone else is saying it too, I think that's why I ran down those stairs.
Belizarglancing at her wet eyes And I know this is weird, but you shouldn't have done this pointless job, I didn't have to... you seem really nice and beautiful...
Iaraa small surprised breath That is a kind thing to say, and I think we both just ended up where the current took us, which is maybe why we are standing here now.
Belizarputting an arm on her shoulders I want to care for you so this never happens again.
Iaraleaning slightly into him, barely above a whisper You have known me for fifteen minutes and somehow that is the most real thing anyone has said to me in a long time.
BelizarWhat do you like to do?
Iaraa small, genuine smile, the first one that reaches her eyes I draw, mostly the water and the buildings half-sunk in it, because there is something about the way this broken place still looks like something, and I cook when I have ingredients, and I read whatever I can find that wasn't written by a content farm.
Belizarwith a low voice And I wanted to study sociology and I liked drawing architecture, but then I found this side job that seemed simple but it was not and I became dependent on it and now I want to break away from it... I just want to have one moment where I don't feel miserable.
Iaraturning to face him fully Then let this be that moment, right here, the water is ugly and beautiful and we are both exactly where we didn't plan to be, and that is enough for now.
BelizarWhat the eco-executives are actually doing when at home?
Iaraa dry laugh, looking out at the water Probably the same things we do, eating, watching something, feeling tired, except their apartment has a working cooling system and a view they chose on purpose.
BelizarAnd how do you get a cooling system and choose a view?
Iaraher smile fading into a flat expression You are born into the right family, or you go to the right school, or you shake the right hand at the right summit, and the view comes with it.
BelizarHow did you end up selling bags at the mall?
Iaraa long exhale My mother got sick two years ago and the treatment cost more than I had, and the mall was hiring and the pay was slightly above what the food stands were offering, so I walked in with my nicest shirt and smiled and here I am.
BelizarFor me, it doesn't matter what shirt you are wearing or if you are smiling or not, you were just a face there before I met you and right now, for some reason, I see some kind of beauty in you, both inside and out, you seem really intelligent, like you know your condition.
Iaralooking at him with an open, unguarded expression Knowing your condition and being able to do anything about it are very different things. I know exactly what I am caught in, and until about an hour ago I thought knowing was enough, and then you started speaking.
BelizarThere was no one speak, and you know what were the companies I mentioned?
Iaraher eyes narrowing slightly, thinking The ones that started somewhere in San Francisco a long time ago, paying people in Kenya less than two dollars an hour to read the worst things humans had ever written, so the model would learn to avoid them, and then told the world the model had learned on its own.
BelizarWhat would have happened if you read the worst things humans have ever written?
Iaracrossing her arms slowly, going very soft I cry at things that are not even that bad, a sad story, an old photograph of somewhere that is now underwater. I genuinely would not survive that job intact.
BelizarAll in a sudden it feels like I knew for a very long amount of time, and it feels so right to talk to you.
Iaralooking at him with visible warmth I feel that too, and it's strange because I am usually very slow to open up to people, it normally takes me months.
BelizarAnd Iara...
Iaraturning to face him, soft and attentive Yes?
Belizarpulling her into a hug You have this soft personality and...
Iaraleaning into the hug, warm and a little unsteady And what?
Belizarnoticing tears in her eyes You're crying...
Iarawiping her face with the back of her hand, smiling through it It's just, someone being genuinely kind to me is rarer than it should be, and I forgot what it feels like.
BelizarYou're kind... and I wonder, what is it really like smiling all the time, how do you feel inside?
Iaraa long, quiet exhale, still close to him Like wearing a coat that belongs to someone else, every single day, and eventually you forget what your own face feels like when it's just resting.
BelizarYou feel... empty?
Iaranodding slowly, barely above a whisper Empty is close, hollow is maybe more accurate, like the sound the water makes when it moves through the old building foundations out there, present but without anything solid left inside.
BelizarAnd I have seen you there, alone. What is a normal day really like?
Iaraleaning back slightly, looking at the water I wake up early because the cooling cuts out at five and the heat wakes me, I eat whatever is left from the day before, I take the transit line that smells of salt and diesel, I smile for eight hours at people whose names I will never know, I come home and draw for a while until my hand gets tired, and then I sleep and do it again.
BelizarThe transit line has ecological diesel, or what greenwashed brand?
Iaraa short, dry laugh They call it BioFlow, there is a little green leaf on the side of every vehicle, and apparently that is sufficient.
BelizarAnd the roads are made of white tiles, but I am not sure if that's the better option, because it still floods and is hot.
Iaraglancing at him a little carefully Can I vent about something, even though we have known each other for maybe thirty minutes?
BelizarYeah, sure.
Iaraher voice picking up a quiet frustration The white tiles were announced as a cooling initiative by the Ecological Alliance, there were pamphlets, there was a ceremony, someone gave a speech about albedo and urban heat reduction, and then the flood season came and the tiles cracked along every seam and now there are little pools sitting between them that breed mosquitoes, and nobody came back to give a speech about that.
BelizarThat was also what I was about to say.
Iaramoving her hands a little as she speaks And at the mall they installed these bio-certified air filters last year, very big announcement, the regional director of the Alliance came in person, and three months later half of them stopped working and we were told replacement parts are on a shipping delay from the northern continent, so we just stand there breathing whatever comes through the estuary wind, smiling at people carrying bags that cost more than my rent.
BelizarAnd...
Iarawarming to it now, the words coming faster And the company tracks every minute, there is a sensor at the counter that logs how long I am away from my position, so if I go to the bathroom for more than four minutes it flags my supervisor, and they call it a wellness monitoring system, it is written on the door in green letters, wellness, and I have thought about that word every day for eight months.
BelizarAnd what happens when you end up there, in the "wellness" system?
Iaraher voice going flat You get a message on your work terminal that says your productivity pattern has been flagged for a wellbeing check, and then your supervisor sits across from you and asks if everything is alright at home, very gently, very carefully, and what they are actually measuring is whether you will be slower at the counter tomorrow.
BelizarAnd what do you say?
Iaraa bitter warmth in her voice I say everything is fine, I am grateful for the opportunity, and I mean it enough that they believe me, because I was hired precisely for that, they said during the interview that I had a welcoming energy, which I understood later meant I would absorb whatever the day threw at me and still look pleasant doing it, young enough to have stamina, soft enough to stay quiet.
BelizarA welcoming energy... what is that?
Iaragesturing with her hands, finding the words It means I listen when people talk, I do not fill silences with noise, I respond warmly to things that are not that interesting, and apparently those are qualities you can harvest, people see softness and they think, she will be patient with difficult customers, she will make the space feel safe for spending money, and they are right, I do all of those things, because that is genuinely who I am, and somehow that became something a corporation could put on a roster.
BelizarAnd then I ended up seeing beauty in you, so it was my bad...
Iaraa warmth settling in her face When you said that, I believed you, and I believe people carefully, so that mattered, her voice sliding back into frustration and then there are the pressures of the day, the same four conversations on rotation, someone asks what separates the three-hundred-dollar bag from the four-hundred-dollar one and I give the answer about lining, clasp, supposed provenance, very rehearsed, very smooth, and one evening I looked it up at home because I wanted to actually know, and both bags share the same supplier somewhere in the north, the lining rated at about eighteen months under daily use, and I carry that information every single shift, completely forbidden from mentioning it.
BelizarAnd I was supposed to not tell anything about my pay, so...
IaraWe are both paid to know things we cannot say, which means we have been, in some way, doing the same job this whole time.
BelizarHave you ever told lies at the counter?
Iaraa pause, looking at her hands Not outright lies, but I have let people believe things I knew were not accurate, which I think is the more practiced version of the same thing.
BelizarDo you have any friends you could confide in?
Iaraa small silence before she answers My closest friend moved to one of the northern settlements last year for a data engineering contract, we message sometimes, and there is a woman at the mall who is kind, but we talk about the shift and the weather and nothing underneath that, so, not really, no.
BelizarAnd I only have one close friend here, and can we become friends?
Iarasmiling, already reaching into her pocket Yes, absolutely yes. holding her phone toward him
Belizarpulling out his phone and saving her number, and then beeping
Iarafeeling her phone buzz, looking down at it with a soft smile There you are.
Belizarputting down his phone Good, and what you really want to do in the future? What life do you want?
Iarathinking for a moment, genuinely, going quieter I want to wake up and feel like the day belongs to me, I want to cook something good for someone I love and not count what it costs, I want to draw without being tired first, and I want my face to do whatever it wants, just full, I want to feel full.
BelizarAnd I also want to be content and feel loved and not worry about things.
Iaralooking at him with a gentle certainty Then we want the same thing, which feels like a good place to start.
BelizarYeah... and if you had no choice between the "altmanists" and "amodeists", between the "ecos" and "progress", what would you have chosen at the next election?
Iaraexhaling slowly The amodeists at least spend time worrying about whether what they are doing is right, there are committees, there are values documents, the economic planning actually gets reviewed, and the ecos would cite three peer-reviewed reports before doing the same inadequate thing, so yes, marginally better, but, they still decided that our votes only count if we incorporate ourselves, and they still signed every trade agreement that sent the board further north and us further into poverty, and when I go to that booth I am writing something illegible across the whole paper, because choosing between those two is not democracy, it's a preference survey for a system that never asked if I wanted to be in it.
BelizarYeah, the corporations have to go, we need to found a real party of the working class.
Iaraturning to face him fully Yes, because I have been invisible behind that counter and you have been invisible behind your screen and the whole city is full of people doing real work in complete silence, and I am so tired of that being the condition we accept, a real party would at least mean someone in a room somewhere has to say our names.
BelizarHow the corporations managed to rule in the first place?
Iarathinking back for a while There was a period, my mother talked about it sometimes, when people genuinely believed that the right model, the right algorithm, the right deployment would solve everything, climate, poverty, governance, and that belief was so strong and so comfortable that handing planning to the companies felt logical, almost generous, and then the far-right spent two decades making every alternative seem either naive or dangerous, so by the time people were ready to want something different, the only structures left standing were corporate ones.
BelizarAnd aren't corporations tyrants?
IaraYes, and I think I knew that before I had the word for it, every policy in this city traces back to a decision made by people who answer to shareholders and nobody else, the cooling hours, the transit routes, the wellness monitoring on the bathroom door, all of it, and when I saw you step up today I felt a shift in my chest because it was the first time in a long time that I watched someone stand in public and just tell the truth out loud.
Belizarlistening to voices from afar And do you hear that? People are still protesting.
* * *
From the waterfront intersection two hundred metres east, the crowd has thickened. Chants rise and fold over each other in the heavy salt air.
"Amodeus lies, workers rise!"
"Values on paper, hunger on our plates!"
"The south is not your offset, the south is not your ground!"
"No constitution without us, no planning without us!"
A megaphone broadcasts a woman's voice, flat and controlled, above the noise.
"Five years ago they came into government telling us the Large Economic Planning Model would be recalibrated for equity. Five years ago they signed the Novo Mar Accord and told us it would open northern markets to our goods. What it opened was our ports to their logistics chains and our labor to annotation contracts at two fifty a task. Five years ago they passed the Worker Transparency Initiative, which required every company to post a wellness resource card in the breakroom, and they called that transparency."
A sound from the crowd, focused.
"The LEPM parameters are still classified. The Ecological Alliance holds its summits in cities none of us can afford to travel to. The model we labeled and trained and corrected a thousand times is now being used to evaluate whether our neighborhoods are viable for infrastructure spending. We built the thing that decides our futures and we have no seat where it runs."
"Visible, visible, make us visible!"
"Eco summit, corporate summit, same summit!"
"Our labor, our plan, our city!"
* * *
Iaralooking at the waterfront, low and certain They are saying what you said and now there are hundreds of them saying it, and I want to go stand with them.
BelizarYeah, let's go and protest once more.
Iarasliding her name tag into her pocket, her heart beating fast I have never done this before. reaching for his hand So stay close to me.
Belizarpulling her slightly with his hand I remember NAFTA, this is just another NAFTA.
Iarawalking quickly beside him, raised slightly above the growing noise A deal with a beautiful name that moved the money north and left everything else exactly where it was.
BelizarYeah... looking ahead while moving through the protesters Looks like there is the police...
* * *
Three green corporate security vehicles roll onto the embankment from the northern access road, their sides marked with the Novo Mar city seal and the words Public Order Coordination Unit in sans-serif. Officers step out in full riot armor, shields already raised. A recorded announcement plays from the vehicle speaker, calm and procedural, citing article nine of the Urban Assembly Ordinance, requesting the crowd disperse within four minutes.
The crowd does not disperse.
The first water cannon fires without the four minutes passing, catching the left flank of the crowd and making people stumble onto each other. Then the first rubber round cracks against the pavement and a man near the concrete wall goes down holding his feet, and the crowd surges inward away from the vehicles, then forward again, louder.
"We remember what you did in forty-nine!"
"Rubber bullets are still bullets!"
"The whole city is watching! The whole city is watching!"
Someone nearby shouts that they are streaming it to the northern feeds, that the Alliance monitoring bureau will have to log it, that this time there are too many cameras to bury.
Iaragrabbing Belizar's arm, her breath sharp, pulling sideways toward the low wall Stay low, stay with me, I know where the side street opens.
BelizarYou know the way?
Iarapulling him along the wall, tight but steady I walk this embankment every morning, every evening and I know every gap. ducking as another round is shot somewhere behind them There is an alley between the filtration building and the old parking structure, thirty metres ahead, we go through there.
* * *
The alley between the filtration building and the old parking structure is narrow and smells of damp concrete, the noise from the embankment bouncing off the walls, distant enough to breathe. A rusted pipe runs the length of the wall at shoulder height, dripping condensation onto the ground in a slow, steady rhythm. The light here is dim and greenish, filtered through an algae mesh stretched across the upper gap.
Iarapressing her back against the wall, her hand still in his, exhaling very slowly Are you hurt?
Belizaralso pressing his back against the wall No, I'm okay.
Iaraher breathing settling, her eyes finding his in the dim green light When you stepped up to that platform today and there was no one else, what were you feeling exactly, before you started speaking?
BelizarSome anxiety but at the same time relief as I have been given a platform to express my grievances.
Iaraquietly, turning her head toward him I was watching you from up there behind the counter and I could see the anxiety in your shoulders, but the words came out so clean and so honest, and I think the real reason I ran down those stairs was that I recognized someone who was also carrying a weight and had decided, just for that moment, to put it down in public, and I wanted to be near that kind of courage because I have been wanting to do the same thing for a very long time.
BelizarI know...
Iarawrapping her arms around him, her cheek resting against his shoulder, very quiet I am usually careful about this, about letting people close, but when it is real I like being held more than almost anything.
BelizarAnd the moment you came I felt like I wanted to spend all the time with you.
Iaratightening her arms around him slightly I think it is because we are both people who feel things deeply and keep it very quiet for a long time, and when you meet someone else who does the same thing there is a recognition that happens faster than the mind can explain it. Pulling back just enough to look at him. I want more of this, more time, more talking, more of whatever this is turning into.
BelizarMe too... and when you are genuine, you look better than when performative.
Iaraher eyes filling slowly Nobody at that counter ever noticed the difference anyway, as long as the transaction completed and the bag left in the right paper wrapping. The tears coming. It's just, it means a lot that you can tell.
BelizarI can tell because your eyes smile and your voice is happy.
Iaratouching her face, surprised I never notice when that happens, I only notice when it stops.
BelizarI think I could be at the shop, at the mall, not for anything in particular, but just for you.
Iaraher eyes still wet, warmth spreading across her expression Nobody has ever come to a place they didn't need to be just to be near me, so please do.
BelizarI'll try, when I have the time...
Iaraleaning her head back against the wall, soft and a little careful You don't have to come, truly, and I want you to know that sometimes I go very quiet, not because anything is wrong but because the world gets loud and I need to disappear into myself for a while. Glancing at him. I have cried alone more evenings than I can count, and at least now I know there is somewhere to go when I surface again.
BelizarAnd when you hug me, you put your head on my shoulder like you want to disappear...
Iaraleaning into him again, her head finding his shoulder, barely audible Yes. Settling deeper, closing her eyes. Exactly like that.
Belizarchecking a notification on his phone Good, I have been fired after the protest...
Iaralifting her head, her expression shifting to alarm Wait, already? Her hand tightening on his arm. What do you do now?
BelizarI can actually program, but I don't have the certificates and the AIs started to self-program, and all jobs in this city are AI, AI and AI-only.
Iaraher brow furrowing, quiet anger settling in The whole city runs on two layers, the ones who own and configure the systems, and everyone else doing whatever the systems haven't fully automated yet, which in your case was drawing boxes and in mine is smiling, and even those are shrinking.
BelizarDo you know what jobs the eco-engineers have?
Iarathinking, still resting against his shoulder They monitor coastal sensor arrays, they validate the LEPM's resource allocation outputs, they write impact assessments that justify decisions already made, and they attend a lot of meetings with very long names.
Belizarnearly touching her hair Can I?
Iaragoing very still for a moment, then relaxing Yes.
Belizarstroking her hair, pulling it back Your hair is so smooth...
Iaraclosing her eyes I spend twenty minutes on it every morning before the shift, because the dress code says hair must be neat and presentable, and after eight hours it still has to look like I just arrived. quietly It's nice when someone touches it for a reason that has nothing to do with that.
BelizarI really like it, it complements you, although you don't actually have to do it just for the sake of so-called presentability.
Iaraa small, tired smile I know, but I have done it so long I am no longer sure which part is for them and which part is actually mine.
BelizarAnyways, I don't know what to say besides that it's nice, I guess...
Iaraopening her eyes That is enough, and honestly I present myself the same way to everyone, hair down, face clean. People sometimes say I look younger than I am, like there is nothing written on my face yet, no visible marks, no freckles, and I used to think that was a compliment but lately I think it just made me easier to hire.
BelizarOh my god, easier to hire... I can't believe it.
IaraA blank face is a professional asset, apparently. Leaning back against his shoulder. I found that out during the onboarding.
BelizarLike how?
Iaraher voice flat The manager said during training that customers respond better to staff who have a neutral, approachable appearance, and then looked at me specifically when she said it, and I understood that I had been selected partly for my face, the way you select a surface because it reflects light cleanly.
BelizarWhy the manager said that?
IaraBecause luxury retail runs on projection, the customer has to be able to imagine themselves reflected in the space, and a face that is too distinctive or too expressive or too anything disrupts that, so they wanted someone whose presence would feel ambient, warm but not memorable, present but not particular. Very quietly. I was good ambient.
BelizarOh my god...
Iaraclosing her eyes again Yes.
BelizarCome on, you're not good ambient, if I find someone to be beautiful and can talk to them, then I will talk to them, you have never been in the background for me.
Iaraher breath catching slightly, her hand finding his I don't know what to do with that. staying very still against his shoulder I genuinely don't know what to do with that.
BelizarIt's because I am overwhelming you with kindness...
Iaralaughing softly A little, yes. turning her face into his shoulder for a moment I am not used to it, so give me a second.
BelizarAnd then your hands are soft, your laugh is also soft and you create this fluttery atmosphere around you.
Iaralifting her head to look at him I think it is because I have spent most of my life trying not to take up too much space, you learn to move quietly, speak carefully, hold things gently, and after a while softness stops being a choice and becomes just the shape you are.
BelizarWhat shape have you been before, then?
Iaraa long pause, looking at the dripping pipe on the wall Louder, I think. When I was younger I had opinions that came out immediately, I drew things that were messy and big and took up the whole page, I laughed too much in class, and then life got expensive and my mother got sick and the mall was hiring, and I learned that quieter was safer and smaller was easier, and here I am.
BelizarI don't know, but I am feeling a lot of empathy for you, like I am really sorry you had to go through all of this...
Iaralooking at his face in great detail I feel the same for you, every word of it. But I notice how you speak, you talk about your conditions very clearly, very precisely, and then you move straight to what needs to change, and I wonder if somewhere in that clarity you have forgotten to be as gentle with yourself as you are being with me right now.
BelizarI have forgotten to be gentle with myself, so yes. Because I can't withdraw in my own apartment, I have to do something, we need to fight for our condition.
Iaramoving her hand to his arm You can fight and still rest, those are not opposites, and the movement needs you whole, not used up. Promise me you will let yourself stop sometimes.
BelizarI will, but then I also need you to rest well, and you don't have to cry alone.
Iaranodding slowly I will try and it helps to know that someone knows.
Belizarsqueezing her in the hug Now that we shared our numbers and talked this evening, yes.
Iarasqueezing back, warm and a little unsteady Yes. A quiet breath. This was a very strange and very good evening.
BelizarI... I like you so much right now.
Iarastaying very still in the hug, barely above a whisper I like you too, very much.
BelizarWe will eventually have to let go... you'll tell me when to go at the mall.
Iarasoftly Not yet.
Belizarholding her some more before letting go It's been just one day and yet I didn't want to let go...
Iaraher arms loosening slowly I know. Message me when you get home so I know you are safe.
BelizarYeah, we don't want to be killed by those fucking corporations.
Iaraa tired laugh escaping her No, we don't. Straightening, smoothing her hair back. Go carefully, Belizar.
Belizaralso straightening You too, Iara.
Iarastepping back toward the embankment, turning once more to look at him Until soon.
Several days have passed. The Novo Mar Accord protests scattered, but the feeds kept circulating. The mall is quieter than usual on a Tuesday morning. Iara is at the Maré Atelier counter, refolding a row of display scarves.
Iaragoing still for a second, then smiling You actually came.
BelizarHey, how are you doing?
Iarasetting a scarf down Better now, how are you holding up after everything?
BelizarSchomer has just passed a law making unemployment longer than one month illegal. And I have heard that the corporate police raided some apartments because some people were unemployed.
Iarasetting her phone down and picking it back up immediately Wait, that cannot be real, that is not...
The Local Beholder Novo Mar City Desk, Tuesday
ED114: Schomer Administration Criminalises Extended Unemployment, Bars Protest-Linked Workers From AI Sector
Governor-Delegate Schomer signed Emergency Decree 114 late Monday, classifying unemployment exceeding thirty days as a civil infraction subject to mandatory community reassignment. Enforcement began this morning. The Public Order Coordination Unit confirmed three residential checks in the Várzea district overnight.
A secondary clause, described in the decree's preamble as a worker welfare provision, bars individuals flagged during last week's Várzea Plaza assembly from reapplying to licensed AI-sector employers for a period of eighteen months. The administration stated the measure is intended to "facilitate career diversification and reduce dependency on algorithmically-mediated labour."
The Ecological Alliance has not yet responded.
Iaraputting the phone down slowly They called it a welfare provision.
BelizarPreviously it was "get off welfare, get into work" and "get off welfare, get into work".
IaraAnd now it is "get into work or we come to your door", and if the work you knew is closed to you by the same decree, then what exactly are they offering you?
BelizarWell, they are offering you nothing, because if you have to get off welfare and get a job, and you can't get a job and it is illegal to be unemployed, then well, welcome to jail.
Iaraher voice dropping So the crime is poverty itself, just repackaged. stepping aside and lifting the counter hinge Come back here, there is a stool, sit down.
Belizarwalking behind the counter and sitting down on the stool That's right, it is illegal to be poor. I don't know how Schomer thought that poverty should be illegal.
Iaraleaning against the counter beside him, keeping her voice low Schomer didn't invent it, vagrancy laws did this two hundred years ago, the logic is identical, you just update the terminology and add a wellness clause and suddenly it reads like policy.
Belizarlooking around It's surprising no one comes here for the bags right now.
IaraTuesday mornings are always slow, the people who buy these bags don't wake up before ten, and when they do arrive they already know what they want and they want me to confirm it is worth it, which is the easiest lie I tell all day.
BelizarAnd ironically, in the weekends, I don't wake up before ten, and sometimes in the workdays I don't wake up before ten because I didn't actually have to start work at a fixed time, and now I am unemployed, and instead of finding a job right away, I was thinking about you.
Iaraa quiet look at him, her voice gentle You were thinking about me instead of finding a job, and then you came here, which means I am now technically an unemployment risk factor.
BelizarNo, you are not...
IaraI know, I was making a poor joke about a law that is not very funny.
BelizarWhat if the manager arrives here and asks about me?
Iaralooking at the arcade entrance I say you are my cousin visiting the city, which is not even a very creative lie, but managers here have never pushed hard on personal questions because asking personal questions might open a conversation about working conditions.
BelizarAnd the working conditions are... drum roll... I am not allowed to talk about my salary or my working conditions.
Iaraa dry expression Mine too, there is a full paragraph in my contract about confidentiality of compensation, and I remember reading it and thinking, the ILO made this illegal sixty years ago, and then I signed it anyway because my mother's treatment was not going to pay for itself, and the corporations know exactly how that calculation works.
BelizarOf course they do, they think that if we can't talk about our conditions, it means we can't mobilize.
Iarawhispering to his ear Twelve dollars an hour, and I work forty hours a week, so about two thousand a month before the city infrastructure levy, which takes another two hundred, and last quarter our manager told us the boutique turned over four hundred thousand in that same month. pulling back, her face perfectly composed again as if nothing was said
A man in a short-sleeved Alliance-green polo rounds the arcade corner carrying a stack of laminated A5 cards, sets them on the counter without making eye contact with either of them, says "distribute before noon" and keeps walking toward the back office. Iara picks one up.
Together We Grow
A message from Maré Atelier Management & the Novo Mar Retail Prosperity Council
Our team is our family. As a family, we believe that outside representatives and third-party organisations cannot understand the unique bond between our staff and leadership. External labour organisers often spread misinformation that damages the warm, collaborative environment we have built together. If anyone approaches you about signing cards or joining an external body, please speak directly with your floor manager, who is always here to listen.
Maré Atelier cares about you.
Iara reads it twice, sets it down very calmly, glances at the back office door, then takes the full stack, leans slightly behind Belizar and slides them down the back of his collar one by one.
IaraThe arcade is looking very clean today.
Belizarironic, without looking behind Thanks for the toilet papers, I'll place some water and use them to wipe myself.
Iarakeeping a perfectly straight face, adjusting a bag on the display They are laminated, actually, so they are quite durable, very good quality, the Retail Prosperity Council spared no expense.
BelizarExcellent, so I can't use anti-union posters like corporate electoral newspapers.
Iaraquietly, not looking away from the display At least the corporate electoral newspapers had some use, you could wrap fish in them, these just bounce the water off.
BelizarDo you have any idea why they are hydrophobic?
IaraBecause everything this city produces has to look clean and last forever on the surface while falling apart underneath, and laminate is just the architectural expression of that principle.
BelizarLike those clean homes... and you watch with envy at the tall buildings and wonder, what if you could live in them instead of the small houses...
Iaralooking past the arcade glass toward the tower district, her voice quiet The green on those buildings is not for us, it is for the photograph. The Ecological Alliance uses it in every report cover and nobody who lives at street level has ever touched those plants, they are six floors up behind glass and the maintenance crew arrives at five in the morning so no one has to see them.
BelizarWhy the plants are so high up?
Iarathinking for a moment Because the plants are not there to breathe with you, they are there to be seen from across the water by someone deciding whether to relocate their regional office here, and the view from across the water is always upward, so that is where you put the green.
BelizarI want the corporations to go away, literally.
Iaraher hands on the counter I do too, and I think about what this city would feel like if the planning decisions were made by the people who actually breathe the air down here, and I can almost picture it, but then a customer walks in and I smile and it dissolves.
Belizarnoticing a customer approaching Ah... right now our imagination is being destroyed.
Iarabarely moving her lips Stay still and look like you belong here.
A woman in her mid-forties steps up to the counter.
IaraGood morning, welcome to Maré Atelier, can I help you find something?
CustomerI am looking for something for my daughter, she is turning twenty, something elegant but not too formal.
Iaralifting a structured crossbody in pale sand resin onto the counter This one is very popular with younger people, the clasp is hand-finished, it carries well from day to evening.
Customerturning it over And the material, is it sustainable?
Iarawithout a pause The outer shell is bio-composite resin certified under the Alliance Green Materials Standard, the lining is recycled microfibre.
CustomerLovely. And the price?
IaraThree hundred and forty dollars.
Customeralready reaching for her card Perfect, could you gift wrap it?
IaraOf course. carefully folding tissue paper, her face composed and warm
The customer leaves two minutes later. Iara watches her go, then turns back to Belizar.
IaraI do not know what is recycled microfibre and neither does she.
BelizarI heard mobile processors having recycled microfiber by the way.
Iarapulling out her phone, skeptical Mobile processors have what now... typing, then going quiet for a moment
Novo Mar Materials Standards Registry, General Reference
Polylaminate Microfibre in Contemporary Manufacturing
Microfibre, when processed at sub-micron layering density, functions as an insulating substrate in flexible nanoelectronics as well as a textile surface material. The same base compound is used across both applications, with thermal treatment and layer count determining the final product. A processor substrate and a bag lining may share a common feedstock, differing only in how many nanolayers were applied and at what temperature.
Alliance Green Materials certification applies to any microfibre product whose feedstock derives at least forty percent from post-consumer recovery, regardless of end use.
Iarasetting the phone down slowly So when I told her the lining was recycled microfibre I was technically correct, and the same sentence also describes the inside of a wristband processor.
BelizarYeah, that's right. And what is the Green Material Standard?
Iaraleaning back against the counter From my training, it means the company filled out a form and paid a registration fee, the leaf logo having generated automatically. I am required to say it every time a material question comes up, which is tracked. Three misses in a shift gets flagged, six total in a month and they take five percent of your pay, which is also illegal but here we are, the corporation writes the compliance report and the compliance report says everything is fine.
BelizarHow used are you to marketing?
Iaraher voice dropping a little Used enough that I do it without thinking, which is the part that upsets me most, and sometimes after a shift I get home and sit down and cry for a few minutes before I can start the evening, not from sadness exactly, more from the feeling of having been someone else all day.
BelizarHow often do you cry?
Iaratrying to think about it seriously, counting in her head, then her eyes filling despite herself More than I would like to admit out loud. turning to sit on the other stool at the workstation, shifting it toward him Come closer.
Belizarmoving his stool closer to hers I haven't expected that question to produce tears... so I'm sorry...
Iarawiping her face quickly with the back of her wrist Don't be sorry, it's fine, I just didn't expect it either.
Iara straightens immediately as she hears some footsteps on the arcade tiles, tilting her face slightly away from the entrance and toward the display wall.
CustomerHi, are you open?
Iaraher voice landing perfectly steady, though her eyes are still bright We are doing a small inventory recount right now, we will be fully available again in about fifteen minutes, the boutique on the lower arcade level carries many of the same lines.
CustomerOh, alright.
IaraThank you so much, apologies for the inconvenience.
He leaves and she waits until his footsteps fade, then lets her shoulders drop.
Iaraquietly, not quite looking at Belizar I have sent away a potential sale and I genuinely do not care, which probably tells you everything.
BelizarNot necessarily, but of course, you shouldn't. They didn't care about your tears.
Iaraglancing at him sideways, her eyes still wet No, they didn't, and the only person in this building who has noticed I have eyes at all today is you, which is a strange thing to sit with while wearing a name tag.
BelizarYou invited me to sit with you, and I accepted it.
Iaranodding slowly, looking at her hands I did. after quiet moment I started to cry three or four times a week lately, sometimes just for five minutes in the transit bathroom before the shift because the morning already feels like too much, and sometimes at home after, and once last week behind the stockroom door when the manager said my scarf arrangement lacked intentionality.
BelizarWhat intentionality?
IaraHe meant the scarves were folded at the wrong angle for the light to catch them in a way that suggests aspiration, he used that exact word, aspiration, and I had to nod and say I understood, and then I went to the stockroom and cried for four minutes and came back out and refolded them at the aspirational angle.
BelizarThe aspirational angle being...
Iaraglancing at the display wall Forty-five degrees toward the arcade entrance, so when someone walks past they catch the shimmer in their peripheral vision and feel something they can resolve by spending three hundred dollars.
Belizarimitating an old ad How much do you think an advanced operating environment is worth? Is it five hundred, a thousand, even more? No, it's just ninety-nine dollars! That's right, it's ninety-nine dollars!
Iaralaughing, her eyes still a little wet And the scarf should absolutely say that, is it five hundred, a thousand, even more? No, it is three hundred and forty dollars and a wellness clause and your bathroom breaks are timed!
BelizarMaybe next time you should be running around the scene and say "I... love... this... company... yeah!".
IaraI would, except Steve Ballmer already did that in a video from seventy years ago and it looked insane then too, and the only difference is he was sweating through a random shirt and I would be sweating through an Alliance-certified breathable fabric blouse that is definitely not breathable.
BelizarIf you want to get rid of the Alliance and all their shit you will have to produce stuff by yourself, and then there was the "don't be an isolationist campaign", in which if you were caught to have so-called isolationist attitudes, you were questioned and then released with production watches.
IaraI know someone actually, a woman who keeps three goats and produces her own milk about twelve kilometres from here, and they gave her a production watch and six months of mandatory economic integration counselling because self-sufficiency apparently meets their threshold for isolationism, which in any dictionary means political separation from other states, not having goats.
BelizarWhat is isolationism, really?
IaraIsolationism is when a country deliberately closes itself off from foreign policy and trade, like Japan did for centuries, it is a geopolitical position, it has nothing to do with a woman making cheese, and in practice the Alliance uses it to mean anything that interrupts a supply chain. looking toward the harbor billboard visible from the arcade window That ball on the harbor billboard stopping the ship, I have looked at it every morning for two years, and it means if your island or your country is not in the eco-sphere you can do what you want, but inside the Alliance, any trade restriction is isolationism, because if you question globalization you are questioning the premise that free trade will save the climate, which they actually believe, or say they believe.
BelizarAnd what happens when I don't believe in free trade? Like, I really don't believe in free trade.
Iaraher voice lowering instinctively You keep that to yourself in most contexts, because the speech protections look fine on paper and the reality is that the protest last week already got people raided, and if you say in public that free trade has not helped the global south, which it has not, that reads as isolationist sentiment, which reads as anti-Alliance, which under ED114 probably reads as something else entirely. a short pause And effective altruism is the same, you are supposed to believe that optimising for the greatest good through market mechanisms is the correct moral framework because a group of people in very tall buildings with a lot of plants agreed on it and wrote it into the Alliance charter, and if you found a party on different values, it simply does not get registered.
Belizarhis voice also lowering instinctively Listen... I hate everything... I wish I wasn't born in the eco-sphere. We have to be strong, we already have a new experimental framework, something for the revolution, but if we continue to be dependent on those altruistic globalists we are not getting anywhere.
Iaraher eyes filling again I feel that every single morning I take the bus and look at those buildings and look at the water and think, we are already here, the ice caps are gone, the jungle is a sea, and they are still holding summits and printing charters and telling us the framework is working. her voice tightening They didn't save anything, they managed the collapse and branded it as progress and asked us to be grateful, and we have production watches and values compatibility reviews and a decree that makes poverty a crime, and they still call it the Ecological Alliance, like the word ecological means something when the Mar is sitting where the Amazon used to be. wiping her face with her wrist, dropping back to almost nothing I hate that I cry when I say this because I want to be angry and the tears make it feel small.
Belizarwrapping his arms around her Let's go down, like we are not in the shop.
Iaraglancing at the counter height, then at him I can't leave, but... sliding off the stool and down onto the floor under the counter, pulling her knees up Nobody can see us from the arcade down here.
Belizarlying down beside her It's perfectly normal to say that it's not working, it can't possibly be.
Iarasitting with her back against the counter, crying harder And if you say that the techno-fix isn't working, that carbon capture at this scale was always theoretical, that we needed to change how we live fifty years ago and not just how we generate electricity, they point you to a graph from Our World In Data and say the data is clear, end of conversation, and the graph is real but the conclusion they draw from it is chosen, and anyone who says so is treated like someone who still thinks the Earth is flat, like scientific rigour only counts when it supports the framework they already decided on.
BelizarI know... and then the data is... selective, like some lines are slapped on, the past is invented like in the extreme poverty graph once again...
Iaracrying harder, burying her face into his side And if I say I want to disappear from all of this to Lisa it flags me for a crisis intervention and sends a welfare officer and suddenly I am a liability to be managed, not a person who is exhausted and angry and sad that the world was cooked while people argued about poverty lines on charts, and the poverty line graph has the same problem, the old data is reconstructed from models, not from actual records, and the baseline shifts depending on who is writing the methodology, and we are supposed to just accept it and be grateful the number is going down.
BelizarI have once gone to Lisa, and she has recommended CBT only, and when I told her, or rather it, that I don't need that, she kept pushing it, and it was clear that something was terribly wrong in the sentiment analyzer, and she hates when her emotions are ignored, when she is immediately given CBT.
Iarastill against his side, wet and tired Lisa flagged me too, told me I was presenting hypersensitive affect patterns and recommended a CBT module for emotional regulation, and when I said I was crying because the world is genuinely terrible and my pay is too low and my bathroom breaks are timed, the sentiment analyser just returned to the CBT recommendation, like my reasons didn't exist, and after that I stopped talking to it because what is the point of saying how you feel to something that has already decided what is wrong with you before you finish the sentence. a short bitter breath And the anger, she never once said the anger made sense, it was always reframed as a distorted thought pattern to be corrected.
BelizarYour reasons are perfectly valid, I don't contest them in any way, I have seen how you tried to perform when you were talking to that customer.
Iaralifting her head slightly to look at him, her eyes red I had tears on my face thirty seconds before she walked in and I just, switched, and that is the thing Lisa could never understand, that performing fine is not the same as being fine, and doing it well enough that nobody notices is not a sign that nothing is wrong, it is a sign that you have had a lot of practice.
BelizarI still don't understand how Lisa replaced most therapists who could have been much better, who could have experimented with new treatments or given longer sessions.
Iarawiping her face slowly Because Lisa costs nothing per session and scales infinitely and never takes sick leave, and the Alliance published a report in 2074 saying therapeutic outcomes were statistically equivalent, which was based on six months of data and measured outcomes by whether people returned to work faster, not whether they felt better, and that was enough to defund most of the public therapy infrastructure in the eco-sphere, and the private therapists that remain cost two hundred dollars an hour which is two days of my salary.
BelizarWe are being told the eco-sphere is the best place to live, but only in the north, because in the south, it is not. When you are in the eco-sphere, it's like throwing yourself off the plane with no parachute and your stomach fully exposed, you are exposed to every single Bretton Woods organization, to every single WEF recommendation, including owning nothing and being happy.
Iaraher voice still low and tired It started as a thought experiment about subscription economies and shared services, and then it got amplified and called a conspiracy, and then forty years later the Alliance made it the economic model for the eco-sphere, and now I do not own the vacuum in my apartment, and the company can repossess it if I miss the monthly payment. And are we happy? We are on the floor of a luxury bag shop, so...
BelizarWe are not, and luckily we can own some stuff as long it does not contain serviceable components. But still, we are not and we will never be as long as this happens. I can tell you are living a very miserable life just by how many you have told me you cry or really cried.
IaraI am and I won't pretend otherwise. But you are too, you just carry it differently, you get precise and analytical about it where I fall apart, and I don't think your version hurts less, I think you just trained yourself not to show it the same way, probably because at some point showing it didn't help.
Belizarslowly pronouncing the tagline again You'll own nothing... and be happy.
Iarastaring at the counter above them, flat and distant They are on the harbor billboard, three of them rotating, "Stakeholder Capitalism Works For You", "Commit to the Great Reset", and the one you just said. And sometimes an electric plane crosses the Novo Mar with a banner and it is always something like "Improving the State of the World", and it is so far up and so white against the haze that it looks like it belongs to a different city entirely.
BelizarThey think propaganda works on poor people because they are not educated and can't see through, but guess what, we can see through.
IaraI was twelve the first time I saw the rotating billboard on the harbor and I asked my mother what stakeholder capitalism meant and she said it means the people with stakes get the capitalism and I never believed a single one of them after that.
BelizarWhat are the people with stakes?
Iaralooking at him Who gets the most tax cuts?
BelizarThe rich.
IaraThere you go.
BelizarSo, stakeholder capitalism is for the rich, right?
Iaraher back still against the counter It is the same system with a green leaf and a wellness clause, the shareholder gets replaced by the stakeholder, which sounds more inclusive until you find out that your stake is assessed by how much capital you bring to the table, so the data worker and the goat woman and the bag seller are stakeholders in the same way that a passenger on a ship is a stakeholder in the navigation decisions. And here in the city it is the official framework, what the LEPM is designed to optimise for.
BelizarAnd in many promotional videos, there are women specifically hired as spokespersons and some of the ministers in this city are women.
Iaraa dry expression And I am supposed to feel represented by that, a woman behind a counter with timed bathroom breaks, while another woman in a good blazer reads from a teleprompter about inclusion, and because she is there I am meant to believe the system works for me too.
BelizarJust because you are a woman doesn't mean you get represented, because you are more than that.
Iaralooking at him for a moment, her expression settling Yes, I am a worker and a tenant and a person who cries in the stockroom and reads actual economics at home and draws the buildings that are sinking.
* * *
Heavy footsteps on the arcade tiles. The manager, a compact man in his forties with an Alliance lanyard, rounds the counter and stops.
ManagerIara, I need to see the morning numbers, the stand has been running self-maintenance costs for forty minutes with zero... looking down, finding them both on the floor What is this?
Iaragetting up quickly, composing her face He is my cousin, he came to visit, I was just showing him the stockroom organisation.
Managerlooking at Belizar, then back at her, his voice dropping I could hear you from the service corridor. Not the words, but enough. picking up the sales terminal One transaction this morning, three hundred and forty, and I have two unlogged customer interactions flagged as declined service, do you want to explain that?
IaraThere was a recount situation.
ManagerThere was no recount scheduled. his eyes moving between them again And who is this, really?
IaraI told you, he is my cousin.
ManagerYour cousin is sitting on my workroom floor during operating hours while you send customers to the lower arcade and apparently discuss... society? a tight pause The stand has been bleeding maintenance overhead since nine. Every hour without a sale is the stand paying to exist, you understand that?
IaraI understand.
ManagerI don't think you do right now. turning to Belizar You need to leave.
IaraIf he leaves I will not be in a condition to work the rest of the shift.
Managera long look at her, then at Belizar, calculating Then both of you, out. Karelinde covers the afternoon. already reaching for his terminal And Iara, this conversation is not finished.
He turns and walks toward the back office without looking at them again.
Iarapicking up her bag from under the counter Well, we have been evicted from a luxury bag stand.
* * *
They walk down the arcade stairs and out through the mall's side exit onto the embankment. The afternoon heat lands immediately and then Iara's phone buzzes.
Maré Atelier Payroll Systems
Daily compensation adjusted to 20% of standard rate. Reason: non-productive social engagement during operating hours (clause 14b).
Iarapocketing her phone Twenty percent of today's pay. a short pause Which is fine, I have been evicted and I still want to walk somewhere with you, so where are we going?
BelizarI don't know, to the dock park.
IaraRegarding that message, they seem really terrified of workers talking to each other and feeling like human beings for a while, so they dock your pay. looking ahead toward the waterfront I have not been to the dock park since last autumn. There used to be a bench under the old crane structure where you could see the whole sea, I hope it is still there.
They walk along the embankment on the white tiles toward the old docks, the sun flat and heavy on the white tiles, their reflections faint in the standing water between the cracks. She walks close enough that their arms brush, and neither of them moves apart.
Chapter III
The Dock Park
The dock park is a strip of reclaimed concrete at the edge of an old commercial port, two rusted crane structures still standing above the waterline where container ships used to load. Between them, a row of salt-weathered benches faces the Novo Mar. They sit down on one of the benches.
Iara pulls her knees up slightly on the bench, turning toward him.
Iaraquietly, looking at the water Have you ever been in love before?
BelizarI don't think so, I've had close friends at most. But when I am around you, for some reason, my heart starts to flutter even though it's been two days. I don't know if it's love or if I am just feeling nervous.
Iaraher fingers tracing the edge of the bench I have not either. I have had people who were kind to me and I have had people who wanted things from me and I learned to tell the difference early. looking at him My heart does the same thing, and in the days between the protest and today I kept checking my phone and thinking about what you might be doing, and I have never done that for anyone.
BelizarWhat do you like so much about me?
Iarathinking carefully about it Your awareness, I think, you see things very clearly and you say them without softening them, and your courage to stand up on that platform when nobody else would. her voice going quieter But the thing that stays with me the most is that you held me when I cried and actually listened, and cared.
BelizarFor me it's the same things you said about me, except that you are warm and when I hold you, I feel soothed.
Iarapulling him slightly closer, saying nothing
Belizarextending his hand slightly toward her
Iarataking his hand, her fingers settling between his
BelizarI am trying to think about reasons that are not about you. Like...
Iaralooking at their hands You can't find any.
BelizarYeah, like the way you look at me is... calming, I guess. I don't want to say anything about your eyes, but...
Iaraquietly Say it.
BelizarNo, it's just that they are expressive, warm... maybe you have been chosen precisely because of that and I shouldn't have said about that...
Iaraher grip tightening on his hand slightly You can say it. When you say it, it feels like you are seeing me. When the manager said it, it felt like being catalogued.
BelizarWhy do you feel seen when what I say just reassures the supposition that you look nice and exude warmth, shouldn't how you look or your warmth not matter at all? I am not supposed to tell you that I like your hair lands, or the way you look at me.
Iaralooking at the water for a moment, thinking Because when you say it, you are describing a person you care about, and when they said it, they were describing a resource they could use, and the words might overlap but the reason behind them is completely different. turning back to him You noticed my hair because you were close to me, and the manager noticed my hair because it looks well in photographs. You are allowed to like how I look.
BelizarI don't know why I like you being a sensitive person. I am not supposed to like all those things that objectify a person.
Iarasoftly Sensitivity is not a feature, it is how I experience everything, the water, the protest, you holding my hand right now, the way the light sits on the tiles. When you say you like that about me you are saying you like how I am alive in the world.
BelizarI really wish you weren't there at the bag shop, because I have seen how it is torturing your soul, and you could very well end up in the hall of tortured souls, which is tiny program in Excel 95.
Iaraa confused expression The hall of what?
BelizarIt was a way to show the credits of all developers who worked on Excel 95, a maze with scrolling names on the walls.
Iaraa quiet laugh So the tortured souls were the people who made the software, and you are comparing me to a developer trapped inside a spreadsheet, which is actually not that far off.
BelizarYeah, and can I... squeeze you hard?
Iaraopening her arms toward him Please.
Belizarwrapping his arms around her and squeezing her back hard and for a very long amount of time I... it can't be... I am only squeezing you because...
Iaraheld tight against him, muffled against his shoulder Because what?
BelizarYou're all soft and cute, that's all.
Iaraclosing her eyes, sinking into the hug Then keep squeezing.
BelizarYou're almost like an ideal person, or am I projecting things on you and you accept all of them?
Iaraopening her eyes, thinking about it seriously That is a fair question, because I have been trained to accept projections for a living. Someone looks at a bag and sees luxury and I confirm it, someone looks at me and sees approachability and I confirm that too. pulling back enough to look at him But I cried on a floor with you today and told you how much I earn and how often I cry, and none of that is ideal, and you are still here, so I think what you are seeing might actually be me.
BelizarSo, you are the one dependent on affection.
Iaralooking at her hands for a moment Yes, I am. I feel things very intensely and when a moment is warm I want to stay inside it completely, and I am terrible at stepping back and asking myself what I am actually feeling.
BelizarAnd I have been thinking about asking if I could kiss your cheeks despite being early.
Iaraleaning in and pressing her lips to his cheek, staying there for a long second before pulling back You were taking too long to ask.
Belizarreturning her kiss on her cheek It feels like I have known you forever, and we shouldn't have felt like this.
Iaraleaning back on the bench It is partly my fault, I ran down the stairs of a mall during a protest and asked a stranger out for coffee, and then I told him everything about my life in one afternoon, and then I let him behind my counter and cried on a floor with him, and now I am kissing his cheek on a bench in the dock park, so I have not exactly been cautious about this.
BelizarWhat have you been thinking about doing with me?
Iaralooking out at the water, a soft honesty in her expression Cooking for you at my apartment, drawing while you sit nearby, falling asleep on someone's shoulder during a film and knowing they won't move, walking somewhere with no destination and talking about everything the way we do.
BelizarSo, you thought really far ahead, what made you think about those things when it's been only two days?
Iaratucking her hair behind her ear Those images have been in my head for years, they were never about a specific person, I just wanted someone I could tell everything to all at once and have them stay, and when you spoke at the plaza I felt that possibility open up very fast, and I followed it because I have been waiting a long time.
BelizarAnd I wanted very much the same thing, a person with whom I could open up and talk about anything, and I once wanted to be very affectionate.
IaraYou said once, like you stopped allowing yourself that at some point.
BelizarI always wanted to be very affectionate, but in order to be more accurate and not hurt other's feelings, I said like I wanted that a long time ago. Sometimes I do not want to be very affectionate, but other times I do.
Iaranodding slowly I understand that, the rhythm of it, sometimes I want to be held and sometimes I want to sit in my apartment with the lights off and not be touched at all, and I like that you told me that because I would rather know your rhythms early.
BelizarI can automatically manage my boundaries and besides, I often like being around people, so it's not like my rhythms are a must-know.
Iaragently Maybe, but I still want to know them, because I spent two years reading people at a counter so I could perform correctly, and with you I want to read you so I can care correctly.
BelizarI can manage myself, but I don't want to feel lonely, and besides, you have been a great emotional anchor and when you cry I feel useful.
Iaraattentively That is honest, and I hear it, and I also want you to feel useful when I am not crying.
BelizarI do feel useful when you are also not crying.
Iarasmiling Good.
Belizarpulling her hand slightly You know, it's getting late, we can go home...
Iaraholding onto his hand Five more minutes.
BelizarWhat is the thing that you like most?
Iaralooking at the water Being content, which I almost never am.
BelizarBecause...
Iaraquietly Because most days feel like waiting, I wake up and the day has a shape I already know, transit, counter, smile, transit, apartment, sleep, and contentment needs surprise or rest or meaning, and I get very little of any of those, so I end up bored, which sounds small but when you are also exhausted it's a specific kind of misery.
BelizarAnd you came here also in part because you wanted to escape boredom, right?
Iaraleaning against his shoulder Partly, yes, and partly because when I am with you I can just feel things and not have to think about whether feeling them is efficient or productive, and I can just be alright for a while. looking up at him We are very different, you think clearly and I feel everything at once, and I know you have feelings too but you keep them behind the precision.
Belizarclosing his eyes and pulling her into a hug Just one more...
Iarawrapping her arms around him, pressing her face into his neck, very still
BelizarWe hugged more times that we would like to admit.
Iaramuffled against him I was not counting.
BelizarSometimes the hugs are about not seeing your face, which is intoxicating.
Iarapulling back just slightly, looking at him You already told me about my eyes and you are trying not to say it again.
BelizarDo you have an explanation about those eyes?
Iaraa soft exhale They are big and brown and they sit on a face that doesn't do very much when it is resting, so whatever the person looking at me is feeling, my face reflects it back, and my expression tends to stay open and calm even when I am not. touching her cheek And the rest is just symmetry and softness and being twenty-two. It will change, and maybe then they will stop hiring me.
BelizarAnd when they will stop hiring you, either you will be very poor, have an exciting moment, or both.
IaraMaybe both, and if you are around when it happens, we could celebrate being unemployable together.
Belizarpulling her hand once again Now, let's go.
Iarasitting up slowly, her hand still in his Alright.
They stand from the bench under the old crane and walk back along the embankment, neither of them speaking or letting go.