The night train to Leriduson

pulling her hand back as though the reader were hot I am so sorry, I did not think. reading the panel It knows what the card is.

going quite still in front of the panel It answered me in Japanese.

reading over his shoulder Yours is longer than mine.

going through her wallet without much hope No. I have never taken an intercity train here.

closing the wallet and following him toward the row of machines Is the card the better one to take, or the paper?

stopping in front of the machine Then the card. reading the panel on it before touching anything It asks for nothing except a language.

scrolling the language list until JA appears, and pressing it It is here. the panel redraws in Japanese and she reads it out flatly for him as it comes

Emergency contact, medical information, merging other cards into it, and four kilobytes of anything I like. And a warning that whatever I write, any terminal in the country can read.

scrolling back up the list to EN and pressing it There.

going back to JA and pressing the issue button, and the machine works for a few seconds before the card comes out of the slot warm It is done. turning it over, the hologram of the Dubrazec ministry building catching the light There is one more panel.

The language sits in the EEPROM, so I can change it at any terminal whenever I want, without issuing a new card.

sliding the card back into the slot and pressing 乗車記録 when the menu opens

her finger stopping over レリドゥソン Six hours. looking at him Do I put us both on my card, or do you keep your own record?

pressing 2 人, then finding the slider along the bottom edge of the panel and drawing it across with her thumb

pressing Leriduson Two people, six hours, and it has asked me for nothing else.

taking the card back as it comes out of the slot Money, mostly. Suica takes the fare at the gate, and for an intercity seat you buy the ticket and the express supplement and then reserve the seat on top of it.

A hundred and twenty minutes. slowly Nothing like that happened at home, and if it had, the line would have been rebuilt or abandoned inside a year.

stepping through the gate and stopping on the platform side, looking down the line of trains That one. White with the blue band. At home that livery would be a western commuter train, and for a moment I read it as one. The waves along the side are wrong, and the panels catch the light differently, and nobody has washed it this week.

reading the destination board on the flank and then boarding ahead of him Six hours. finding a pair of seats and taking the one by the window without being asked

leaning back on the seat and sinking in it Oh. running a hand along the armrest I expected a bench. looking down the carriage, then at the marking above the door Every wagon has the same letter and the same seats. There seems to be no first class anywhere on this train.

turning toward him with her shoulder against the seat back Then can I ask you something about here, since you have answered everything else. Marliene cried in front of you within an hour. Is that ordinary, or is she unusual?

taking that in At home a woman does not cry in front of a stranger on a train. She would apologise for weeks afterwards. And the leaving for work is the same story with us. You are supposed to have a permanent post and enough salary before anyone will consider you, and by the time you have it you are thirty five and too tired to look. Two from my section never married and never said why.

watching the yards move past the window People argue about it constantly, and none of them agree on which century it started in. What I think is that we were collectivist without the collective. Everyone gave everything to the group and the group gave nothing back that you could hold. Here it is collectivist too, and it feeds you.

nodding slowly There are not many of us. I know maybe thirty in Lindoma and we do not seek each other out much. Leaving is treated at home as a failure to endure, so the ones who go tend to be the ones who had already stopped being able to.

thinking about how to put it Because enduring is the virtue. Gaman. You are praised for what you can carry without complaining, so the person who puts it down has failed at the one thing everybody agreed was good.

the argument landing somewhere she has evidently been already We had the machines too. Every year the warehouse got better systems and every year my hours stayed the same. The work the machines took was simply replaced with more work.

shaking her head You were not wrong about the machines. The part you are missing is that somebody has to write down in advance how many hours a week a person works, and then defend it.

No. If I had been born here I would be somebody else entirely, and I would not know what this is worth.

the automatic whistles run down the platform, then the horn, and she does not turn her head Homesick, often. Regret, no. I miss the food and my mother's building and the sound of the crossing near her station, and none of that is an argument for going back.

hearing the whole list without flinching All of that is true and I did not notice any of it while it was happening.

something easing in her face It has been one afternoon. If it holds until Leriduson I will believe it.

I do not know what to do with that. At home strong means you did not complain. I think you mean something else by it.

I did give in to them. What I did was stop, and then buy one ticket, and everything since has been the small business of unlearning the rest.

I have thought of it as running. But it was two years of paperwork and language and packing a flat, and I did it while working those hours. I would like to think it was strength and I stopped expecting anyone to tell me so.

not looking away this time, and her eyes are bright Thank you.

shaking her head quickly You did not. her voice going smaller Nobody has ever said that about me. Not my section, not my mother, and I had decided it was because it was untrue.

her hands going still I know it is not, but every strong thing I did made me feel weaker, because it meant I had failed to manage what everyone else managed.

You have been there for one afternoon and it has already moved something. I do not know yet how to expect it to continue. I would like to find out.

Then that is what I said yes to on the phone. looking out at the country beginning to open up past the yards I accepted the lagoon before I had thought about it, and I have not changed my mind.

the word taking a second to settle in her Fun. quietly, as though testing whether she is allowed it Yes. I would like it to be fun.

It is allowed. I have simply not had a plan for enjoying myself in a very long time.

turning toward him You were awake making plans for people. Who is Sarena?

So she went quiet on you. Do you think she meant something by it, or is she simply a person who does not write back?

lowering her voice at once Then sleep. shifting a little so the light from the window falls off his face Six hours is a very long time. I will wake you before Leriduson.

already gathering her bag There is a sleeper on an ordinary six hour train?

following him through the connecting doors, one hand on each seat back as the floor moves under her Nobody has checked the card once since the gate.

stopping in the doorway and looking at the two bunks, the folded blankets, the small lamp This is a room. setting her bag down At home you would book this two months ahead and pay for it like a hotel.

a small laugh No. sitting down on the lower bunk and taking her shoes off out of habit before she catches herself Sorry.

setting them neatly side by side against the wall Good. quietly, looking at the upper bunk Take the lower one. You are the one who has not slept.

climbing up and settling above him, her voice coming down from over the edge What is the fifth star waiting for?

the lamp clicking off above him Then it is four out of five against trains that mostly do not have beds. Sleep.

to nobody, very quietly Four hours until Leriduson.